Sasha Answers: Am I the consolation prize?
Dear Sasha, I've known this guy now for 6 months, and we have been together since the first week we met. Although I have never felt quite secure because I felt that he was emotionally distant and because the circumstances under which we met were not particularly favorable for us. For one thing he is five years younger than me (I am 27) and he is from another country.
He is studying here and likely to go back in about half a year. So there's that. But you cannot choose whom you fall in love with...
Then one evening, when we were talking, he told me that there is a girl back home, that he is in love with. But they cannot be together because she has a new guy, but still loves him or whatever. I broke up with him over this, obviously, but we got back together, because he said that he wants to be with me and that he will try to forget her.
If she is waiting for him to come back and loves him and he loves her too, it is pretty clear, right? It's just...I am not quite sure how to confront him about it, but I need some closure for myself. L
Some of you write in when I know YOU KNOW the answer to your own question.
Come on L, you see how sucky this situation is, right? It can’t feel good to be the consolation prize. It can’t feel good to know that the way you want him to feel for you is the way he feels for another woman. Listen, there’s no what if’ing this situation; the dude has told you straight up, to your face, that he loves another chick more than you. That would sure as f-ck be all the 411 I’d need to bounce, so why isn’t it enough for you?
The worst part of this scenario though is that you are not only his second choice BUT also a time-filler until he goes back home to get her. Seriously L, this is like someone taking a dump in your hands and making you eat it. So L, my advice is pretty simple, please, for the love of god stop eating sh-t.
Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming my way to firstname.lastname@example.org