Sasha Answers: Cramped by my roommate’s boyfriend

November 4, 2014 18:08:47 Posted at November 4, 2014 18:08:47
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, I have been living in a new flat since July and I'm having roommate problems that I desperately hope you can help with. My boyfriend and I live together in 1 room of the house and there are 2 other bedrooms, which the landlord stated at the outset would be occupied by only 1 tenant each as it's quite a small flat and 1 couple is enough.

Onto the problem: one of our roommates, a girl who moved in at the start of August, has a boyfriend who stays here every single night of the week. He basically lives here. He does his washing here and hangs it up to dry in the ensuite bathroom, he has a shelf in our pantry for his stuff, he eats breakfast and dinner in our house everyday, he keeps beer in our fridge, he does schoolwork here, he watches TV, he reads, he spends time here when my roommate is out. I honestly think that, since she moved in, there would only be a handful of nights (as in 2 or 3) he has not stayed over.

Financially, this is not so much of an issue as utilities are included in our rent each month. However, this guy constantly being here is starting to drive me absolutely crazy. He's pretty tidy and he's nice enough, but I really need some advice on how to bring up with my roommate that I can't deal with him being here all the time.

I'm trying to be fair and reasonable! I know the best fix would be my boyfriend and I finding a place on our own but we can't afford to otherwise we would've done so when we moved house in July. We will be moving (country) again next year, but not until our 12month lease is done in June and I don't think I can tolerate this guy being here until then. Please, please help!


I can sense that if you see one more random pube on your toilet seat you’re gonna lose your sh-t so V, it’s time to tackle this problemo head on.  

Unfortunately there’s no roundabout way of delivering the news – you have to be firm and direct ie.  “Dude, your boyfriend is always here. I didn’t sign up for a fourth roommate. I’m sorry, but he can’t be here 24/7.”

Yes, it will be awkward, yes, there will be a wee bit of lingering tension, but this is the only way to get him to kick rocks. Listen, I know you don’t want to be the buzzkill, but your roommate and her boyfriend are totally taking advantage of this set up. If she’s a slightly reasonable person, which I’m sure she is, she’ll understand.

If she doesn't, at least you have an exit plan for next year. Not ideal, but you’ll survive.

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