Sasha Answers: douchebags online
I joined a dating site. I clicked immediately with this guy, M. He understood my sense of humor in my emails, and pretty soon we were texting. And I mean texting. He was texting morning, noon, and night. He was relentless, romantic, funny, and intoxicating. We finally met for dinner Friday night, he was kind, but not the same dude I was texting with...I chalked it up to us both being nervous. He was serious, but polite. And he texted me again non- stop til Monday, when we met for dinner again. The texts were so personal, so intimate, he'd say he could see me in his life forever, he missed me constantly, he needed to see me asap. He wasn't the same in person, but he was still polite and kind. So Tuesday, he falls off the planet. Crickets chirping...not a word. I text @ 4pm, hey where'd you'd go? The response was he's tired, doesn't feel good. And nothing further. I texted again before I went to sleep, good nite hope u feel better. Thanx I will, was his uncharacteristicly short response. Gone was all the mushy sweet talk that had characterized all previous texts. Today, crickets all morning. I text @ noon, hey, you ok? The response I get, "Ummmm, you are coming on too strong for me. Chill out plz." He might as well have kicked me in the stomach. What happened? S
Unfortunately what happened is that you stumbled on a d-bag. It happens, the perils of dating online and well, dating, period. It sucks nards.
S, it’s totally normal to feel hurt, confused, embarrassed, but I can’t let you waste any more time feeling this way. If you two had been more of a thing, it would have been worth it for you and I to have figure out where and why it broke down. But because it was so surface there’s not much I can offer other than to say that this has nothing to do with you. You acted totally above board, you didn’t step over any boundaries, and you were just going along with his cues. Any normal human being would have acted the same way. No f-ck up on your part.
All you’re left with now is the knowledge that he isn’t interested. Who knows why he pulled the plug. Maybe the chemistry wasn’t there when you guys finally met or maybe, and more likely than not, buddy isn’t all that emotionally stable - as evidenced by his last incredibly wack and rude text to you. The only thing I can say is thank god you found out what a useless tool he is early on.
So here’s what you need to do: stop boohooing, pull up those dating socks again, and go get yourself a real man. If you are unclear of what one looks like, here’s a clue below: