Sasha Answers: Does he “like” too much?
Hi Sasha, My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now. We clicked immediately upon meeting and said I love you within a week. We are both in our early 30s and have had a few relationships before this, so we knew what we were looking for when we met and were both really excited to have found one another.
Our relationship is pretty great for the most part, but recently I noticed him doing something that makes me super uncomfortable - He "likes" girls pictures on Instagram. Like, sexy selfies where there's a lot of cleavage showing or the girls are in their underwear. Most of these girls are Instagram model types that I don't believe he personally knows, but there are a few who I am certain he does, one of them he even dated. The other day he started following one of those chicks who has an Amazon list of stuff she wants so her admirers can buy it for her, he even liked one of her pics where she was wearing a crop top and underwear.
I am kind of hurt and insulted by this. I am not normally the jealous type, but this really irks me. I don't think he would ever outright cheat on me, he is very open about his life and his past girlfriends and has always been very public about the fact that we're together. However, there's something sleazy about what he's doing. Am I reading too much into the situation? Should I talk to him about it? What do you think Sasha? Thanks in advance for your advice!
I’m not going to go on some long tirade about the evils of social media, but let me just say this: it’s the worst. It’s taken all the social out of every social thing we used do and in short, we’re a bunch of narcissistic, rude losers. And S, I’m sorry to say I feel like your boyfriend may just fall right smack dab into the definition of this.
I’m sure he would argue that clicking a little heart on his phone doesn’t mean anything in the real world, but he needs to know that the direct parallel in the real world would be him one-upping some chick and telling her that she was hot. Same sh-t, different pile in my books. And no matter how you slice it, it’s still a form of flirting.
But S, before you blast his balls maybe he’s not fully aware of his actions. I mean, this new landscape has still got a lot of people trying to figure out the rules & regs of the situation, so maybe, maybe he’s just thinking he’s being polite or something???? Either way, he needs to know that you’re not down with his actions. Communicate. (Lainey: ironically that’s what dying with social media.)
If he’s the good, stand-up guy you say he is there’s no way he won’t consider your concerns. If he doesn’t, well, then maybe it’s time for you to unfollow his ass for good.
Thanks for writing in and keep me posted. And for the rest of you keep your questions coming to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.