Sasha Answers: He doesn’t love me
Hi Sasha, My boyfriend and I have been going out for over 10 months. Recently, I’ve been feeling like he is not feeling the relationship any more (I’m always the one messaging him, when we hang out he’ll bust out his laptop and start surfing reddit, or start playing call of duty, etc.). I tried to talk to him about it and he was being pretty defensive about everything, so I straight up told him that I’m just hurt because I love him and I don’t feel like he feels the same way anymore (we don’t throw around a lot of I love yous, but it is something he has said to me on several occasions before). And his answer was, “I love spending time with you, but love is a big word. Do I want to marry you –no, Do I want to move in with you, no”. We eventually ended the conversation because I was pretty upset and just tired of crying and then everything seemed to go back to normal the next day I guess my question is, do I hang around because I enjoy spending time with him or should him being unable to reciprocate my feelings be a deal breaker. Thanks, N
You shouldn’t be giving me or your boyfriend the power to decide what you want to do with this – YOU have to be the one to make the call.
Are you cool with being in a long term relationship with absolutely zero future? Does having a person to hang out with 24/7 trump being loved? I’m not even trying to be cheeky here, I mean, I just want you to grow a pair of balls and make a decision for yourself.
Would this be good enough for me? Hell to-the-f-ck no. Knowing that my man had, in a sense, had already written me off, would breed too much insecurity in me, and certainly turn into someone I wouldn’t want to be. Personally, I'd never want to be in some runner-up relationship so N, I think you need to take stock of your situation and figure out if this is something YOU think is worth investing in anymore.
Keep me posted! xx