Sasha Answers: I don’t want to be her “project”
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I became friends with someone because our husbands have been friends for many years. We don't have a lot in common, so we probably would have never become friends naturally. I started to grow much closer to her over the past few years because she is outgoing and fun. Over time I started to notice that she treats me like I am her "project" and has cornered me several times to tell me how to live my life. The final straw was when she told me that I will never be able to keep my husband if I don't provide him with a child! None of my close friends like her and she doesn't have any qualities I wish to emulate, so for me to be her project is downright ridiculous. Plus, she has a terrible drinking problem. So, I have been doing my best to avoid her. Even though I never ignore her or said anything to anyone else about the situation, she has figured out that I am avoiding her and now she is saying awful things about me behind my back! She has even posted cryptic status updates on facebook which my friends think are about me! My husband doesn't want to me make any waves, but my friends think I could cut her 100% out of my life, beginning with unfriending her on Facebook. What should I do? I don't want to cause any trouble for my husband and his friend, but this woman is very toxic and has caused me a lot of unnecessary stress.
Thank you for any suggestions!
The energy and exhaustion to keep a "friendship" like this going is simply not worth it. Life is too damn complicated already without having someone deliberately dragging your ass down, so if I were you, I’d snip, snip, snip and kick her ass to the curb.
T, you don't owe her some big explanation. All you need to do is fade her out, which is what you’re doing. So going with that plan, she’s obviously picked up on the hints, which is why she’s lashing out behind your back. True colors dude, true colors.
Now when it comes to deleting her from Facebook, I mean, it depends. If you’re an avid picture putter upper and you post personal sh-t on there (side advice: stop doing that!!!), then I can understand why you don’t want her privy to your personal life. However, if you don’t take your Facebook too seriously and you’re just trying to hit her where it hurts, then I wouldn’t bother.
The last thing I want you to do is meet her bitch with your bitch. Don’t stoop, don’t be petty, don’t talk smack. If what you want is to have more positivity around you then you have to play a part in creating that too. Ya dig?
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