Sasha Answers: Jealousy is a waste of time

May 12, 2014 16:30:16 Posted at May 12, 2014 16:30:16
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, I've been seeing this guy for almost a year and things became serious pretty fast. I've met all his friends, most of which are girls, and I get along great with all of them except for one, his best friend (she's a girl). I guess it all started the first time we all went out for drinks. I wasn't feeling well that day so I wasn't super talkative and the waiter asked if they, my bf and his best friend, were a couple. They both thought it was hilarious and said that people ask them that question all the time. That obviously made me very uncomfortable and I've just had a hard time with her since, especially seeing as their chemistry is undeniable, even to me. My bf assures me that nothing has ever happened between them but I can't shake that jealous feeling I get whenever he mentions her. what should I do?
Thanks, J

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Being jealous is a big fat waste of time and you know why? Because it only f-cks over the jealous one - you - even more. Think about it: does it make you feel good? No. Does it make your relationship stronger? No. Does it make you more attractive to your partner? No. And most importantly, does it fix the problem? F-ck. No.

Listen, I know jealously bubbles up in all of us sometimes, but in this case J, I really don’t know what you’re bugging out about. Okay fine, the waiter mistakenly thought they were a couple, so the f-ck what? Were they supposed to reprimand him? I mean, don’t you think they laughed that sh-t off because they both know that being together couldn’t be further from reality? I don’t know, but that seems like the most logical sh-t to me. Had you expressed in your letter that they were constantly flirty with each other, or had dated before, then I'd be leaning more to your side, but to me, it sounds like these two are just straight up homies.   

If he’s assured you, which he has, that nothing has or will ever happen between them then you have to trust him. That’s the f-cked up thing about relationships - if you want a long lasting, healthy, good one, you have to blindly trust your partner. That is, until they f-ck up, but J, you’re not even there. You can’t punish him or her when literally NOTHING has happened. Got it? Good.

Thanks for writing and keep me updated! xx

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