Sasha: my best friend yells at me
Dear Sasha, I am in a rather difficult situation with my best friend and I am at a loss as to what to do about it without it becoming really uncomfortable.
She sends me between 10 to 15 texts a day and she wants to see me all the time. She bangs on about the importance of friendship and being burnt by friends previously. She is very invasive and asks me questions, but rarely tells me anything going on in her life. Asks me continually what is wrong with me because I have not responded to all of her messages or gets mad at me if I don’t respond to her texts right away.
I have spoken with her in a non-confrontational way about the amount of contact she wants with me compared to what I want with her. She did back off for a time, but of course it doesn’t last. My efforts to distance myself from her have not worked- she just calls me up and screams at me, demanding to know what is wrong. I don’t want to have an uncomfortable argument with her because we have mutual friends, but I can’t take this anymore. What do I do?P
Whoa, wait a minute….has she always been like this or is this some new thing? Either way, I’m a bit creeped out by it. It reminds me of this girl Katrina I used to be friends with when I first moved to Vancouver. Naturally it took me a while to get used to my surroundings and because of that I was super-duper shy and really naïve. Anyway this little bitch would invite me to her house after school and would straight up abuse my ass - no joke. Like, she’d make me stand on a box while she bashed a record player over my head and would yell orders at me and sh-t. And I would always get so tripped out because while she was drop kicking my ass she’d have the biggest smile with the biggest dimples, which was so confusing because how could someone so cute be such an asshole? Anyway, I remember one day I finally got a clue….like, what the f-ck am I doing standing on this box? And why the f-ck am I letting this 7-year old psycho tell me what to do all the time? So the next time she invited me over to her house I said ‘no, I don’t like you at all’. And that was that, we were never friends from that day forward.
So P, I think you might have a Katrina in your life, minus the physical abuse. Look, no one likes having uncomfortable conversations, but you need to set some boundaries here. If she doesn’t get that, then she’s a sh-t friend and it’s time to drop her.