Hi Sasha: My Dad’s Medical Secret

August 14, 2012 18:11:27 Posted at August 14, 2012 18:11:27
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, I'm really confused right now, I went away with friends for the weekend so I decided to spend some quality time with my dad and chat a little bit over dinner. We were having a mindless conversation when suddenly he got all emotional and told me that he was not going to be around much longer, I almost had a heart attack trying to figure out why he was telling me that. When he finally composed himself told me he was diagnosed with early stage of Alzheimer.....3 months ago.

He didn't want to tell us, he only told my mom and asked her no to tell anyone but I guessed I said something that triggered him to tell me, now I don't know what to do, should I tell my brothers? Somehow I feel like I should respect his decision to tell us on his terms but to think he knew this 3 months ago and didn't say anything hurts. M

One of my close friends had her father diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year and to say it’s been hard is a vast understatement. The emotional devastation of seeing a person you love disappear right in front of your eyes is overwhelming and heart breaking, so M, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. 

This is a really scary time for you, but of course this weighs most heavily on your father.  There’s no doubt that he’s struggling with this news and while I know you want to respect his decision to not tell anyone, it really is in everyone’s best interest to know what’s going on.  Not only does your family have to make sure he’s getting the best medical care, but it’s crucial that each one of you gets educated on the disease, so that you can all start planning for the future.

The other glaring reason your brothers need to know is because sadly, this disease can deteriorate the mind quickly.  I don’t know what stage he’s in, but what we do know is that you have him right now.  And every last second you and you brothers can soak up with him is going to be so important.  Of course people with Alzheimer’s can still have very rich relationships but you have to accept that the relationship changes and then continues to change. 

I hope this helps and everyone on this site is sending you lots of love. xx 

Previous Article Next Article