Sasha Answers: My bf cut me off for his gf
Dear Sasha, My best friend is a guy (R). We’ve been friends forever. We never dated, never even gotten close, no drunken mistakes or anything... There’s truly nothing but friends/siblings love between us.
So now that that’s established, I’m currently VERY mad at and disappointed in him. His current girlfriend isn’t very fond of me. I do give them their space, tried my best to hang out just the two of us, so that she’ll get to know me, and maybe change her mind about me, but seems like there’s nothing I can do to please her. She smiles to my face, but then complains about me to R. She apparently has trust issues, so to “fix” that, R decided that him and I should take a break, so that he could gain his girlfriend’s trust.
I feel like he’s choosing her over me, and it really hurts my feeling. We have always stood up for one another, and now because of a girl he’s only known for a couple months he’s cutting me out of his life? Am I overreacting here?
If a dude has the choice between two women in his life – the friend or the f*ck – 9 times out of 10 he’s always going to choose the latter. It sucks, but these are common casualties in opposite sex friendships.
Now, this isn't to say this is a permanent decision on his part, but if he’s getting heat from his woman, particularly about you, well, he’s going to make sure he serves and preserves the pussy that he’s with.
I’ve been in your position before and while I posed no threat to the girlfriend, looking back I can understand why she didn’t want me around. It’s not like I was going to take her man, but when you start a relationship with someone you want to feel special, like you’re the only one he thinks about. Of course, it was totally insecure on her part, but we’re not always the most confident when we start a relationship.
Now let me guess....this is his first real relationship, right? I’m not saying that should warrant him ditching your ass, but the reality is that dudes usually only have the ability to focus and really nurture one female relationship; if this chick is the demanding type then he’s at full capacity right now.
Look, we all do it: fall in love and then fall off the grid. I know it doesn’t feel great being pushed to the side, but just give him a little more time to enjoy this bliss. From experience, once the sex fog has cleared he’ll come up for air and come back to his senses.
Hope this helps and let me know how it all pans out! Thanks for writing in and keep sending me your LIFE + STYLE questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.