Sasha Answers: My boyfriend uses AshleyMadison

August 27, 2012 17:30:09 Posted at August 27, 2012 17:30:09
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Dear Sasha, I snooped, and I'm paying for it.  I was using my boyfriend's ipad and foolishly peeked in his email. Honestly, I was snooping to see if there was any hints of a forthcoming engagement (we've been together for over 2 years, living together since October, he's 34 and I'm 32). I got paid back with some snooping karma - as I saw an email from the website AshelyMadison.  I freaked out.  I looked up the website and his profile.  It says he's attached but looking. Otherwise, there was no picture or anything - but it said he'd last logged in a day ago. There could be a very reasonable explanation or I could fully have my head up my ass.  Do I eat crow and ruin some trust by coming clean about how I found this out? Or, do I just keep mum and assume all is well. HELP!!!  S

Do you want to be in a trusting healthy relationship?  Do you want to know what it feels like to be respected?  Do you want to know that your love is being equally matched by your partner?   If the answer is yes to any of these questions, and it better be, then you sure as f-ck need to confront your man.   

This is some messed up sh-t and listen up S, if you’re scared to tell him about your snooping for fear of it ruining the relationship, uh, spoiler alert:  it’s already up sh-t creek.   Now I’m not saying you guys can’t fix this - you can - but it’s going to take a lot of hard work to get it back to where you thought it was.   I just wonder if it’s actually worth the fight.  

Look, I’m not in the business of breaking up relationships, but you’ve really got to ask yourself if this is truly the guy who you want to be with, and if you’ll actually be able to forgive this betrayal.  

And don’t you dare fool yourself into thinking this was some accident or that he didn’t know what he was getting into because the first thing you see on that site is their tag line:  Life is short. Have an affair.     

Frankly, there’s nothing more blatant and f-cking gross than that. 

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