Sasha Answers: My boyfriend’s gross texts
Hi - I have been in a serious committed relationship with my bf for the last year and a half. It's very serious; we are talking about marriage and moving in together. He is devoted, caring boyfriend and I have never been happier in my life. It is a very healthy, mature relationship with no drama. I happened to sneak a peek at his texts recently (not because I don't trust him, I was actually thinking I might see something about a ring in there, I know am WAY too nosy). His buddy had sent him a pic of a girl he is pursuing and bf's response was 'nice t*ts. how old?' Then he said "Let's f#ck her" His friend said, ok i'll talk to her, and bf goes "I'm kidding, lol" So his friend says oh ok, and bf goes "I'd be down though". WTF? Down if he were single? Or down in general? Is this normal guy talk? He gives me no reason to think he'd cheat, except for this. T
Admittedly there is some pretty wack sh-t that gets communicated between friends, but for all the inappropriate back and forth, um, it's pretty rare to find an exchange like this. Like, my body went into full-on cringe mode reading his texts. I mean, jeezus, talk about awkwardddddddd.
Personally, I’m not a fan of dude talk like this AT ALL - I think it reeks of immaturity and overall lameness, but unfortunately it happens. Do I think it means your boyfriend is a cheating pig? No. Do I think it means he has an underlying disrespect for women? Ding ding ding - yes! I know we all like to chalk it up to bros being bros, but when do women ever joke about gang banging a guy?
Listen T, I know all you want from me at this point is to tell you the deeper meaning behind his texts, so again, let me relieve of you this immediate stress: there’s nothing behind it. He doesn’t want to double team this chick. All it was was a crappy attempt at being funny and “cool”. I don’t want you to think I’m dogging your man because I’m sure you guys do have something very special; all I’m saying here is that it wouldn’t hurt for you to do some tweaking and teaching. So T, if and when you catch this kind of talk again, call him the f-ck out on it. And while you're at it, teach him how to land a proper f-cking joke.
Thanks for writing in and keep me posted! xx