Sasha Answers: My friend’s gropey husband
Hiiii Sasha, Okay so, about 3 months ago my really good friend got married to a guy who makes her happy. She is the sweetest girl who deserves everything good that life has to offer. However, I have never liked him and always thought there was something a bit 'off' about him. I always kept my fat gob shut because she was so happy.
A few nights ago I went to their place for drinks, just the three of us, which I usually never do, but I wanted to hang with my friend and it is really hard to ever see her without his dumb ass in tow. I'm not a big drinker so after a couple too many I went to sleep in the spare room. It was late. She went to bed. Anyhoo, here comes the creepy. I woke up and he was like grabbing at my tee shirt telling me I had to get changed. I freaked. Obviously. And told him to get out. He did. Then he came back and started trying to take off my clothes. I freaked again. And told him to get out. Which he did. He came back a third time and was fully violent but only with words. I told him to get out which he did. I grabbed my phone and called a friend to come get me. It was like 2am ..good friend right. Anyway. Now, I have no idea if I should tell her or not. She will hate me if I tell her, she will probably hate me if I don't? I have no freakin idea what to do. I know if someone told me this story I would tell them to tell her. But. It's so different when you’re actually in the story.
PS On a side note, as he was harassing me in the bedroom and then leaving he was also on his phone asking another friend (female) to send him pictures of herself.
This is actually super disturbing and there’s no second guessing on this one F, you totally have to tell her. Like, yesterday.
Drunk, weird, a bit off – whatever this dude’s issue is, there’s no excusing what he did that night. You can't shrug it off OR keep it from your friend. You have to tell her everything.
Listen, if you do care about your friend then you have to know she would be utterly mortified to know that she’s married to a man that would be capable of such a thing. Trust me, if he can turn on a switch and be such a sick muther f-cker like that, then sh-t, I don’t even want to imagine what this guy is really all about. Not to mention how he might be treating her behind the scenes.
The bad news is though I don’t know how your friend will react to all of this. I’m not saying she won’t believe you and be totally disgusted, but seeing as they're newlyweds, I’m guessing that she won't up and leave his ass right away.
If that is the case, I know it will be hard to watch, but you have to promise me that you won’t abandon her. I need you and the rest of your girlfriends to be there for support, as well as to keep tabs on her and the relationship. Keep your eyes peeled for any change in physical and emotional signs. For example: does she seem anxious, scared or withdrawn, is she isolating herself from family and friends, and of course are there any physical signs and/or “accidents”. I know you might think I’m freaking out too much but F, you should be too. This dude is one big f-cking hazard and it’s important that you make sure that your friend is not in a messed up relationship.
Let me know how this all pans out and we can go from there. Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming to firstname.lastname@example.org