Sasha Answers: My friend’s husband grabbed my breasts
Dear Sasha, My friend had a party to celebrate her husband graduating from school. There was alcohol at the party and her husband went a little crazy. At one point, while he was talking to his guy friends, he pretended to grab my breasts. (He put his hands out near them and pretended like he was squeezing them.) My friend witnessed this, but did or said nothing. I know that when there is alcohol involved, things get a little crazy. But I feel shocked that she didn't step up or say for him to behave. After the party, the next time I talked to her, she mentioned how he drank too much and threw up in the bathroom after everyone left. What should I do what would you do?
A fake squeeze of the tits, you say? Well, depending on context I don’t know if I would personally care because let’s face it, I keep very inappropriate company. See: Lainey. But T, this isn’t about me, it’s about you and if it made you feel uncomfortable, which it obviously did, you have every right to say something.
You know and I know though, that people do and say some wacked out sh-t when they’re sauced; does that mean you should excuse his action or your friend’s lack of action? No. But I do think you can give them both a chance to explain/say sorry/feel mortified for themselves because chances are they remembered a whole bunch of zip, zero, zilch when they woke up.
So T, give your homegirl a call and let her know that her husband’s miming melon grab made you feel gross and from there hear her out. You can’t assume she even knows what went down, but if she’s a good friend, I doubt she’ll blow off your feelings. She might not agree that it was a big deal, but the hope here is that she’ll get him to genuinely apologize to you, if that’s what will make you feel better.
Now, if you don’t get the reaction you’re looking for and you’re still upset, then maybe the issue here isn’t so much about this isolated incident as it is about this particular group of friends. Maybe they just aren’t your kind of people and if that’s the conclusion you come to at the end of the day then it’s probably time to fade them out and find yourself a new set of non-tit grabbing friends.
Hey, but feel free to give them my contact information because they sound like a fun crew to roll with.