Sasha Answers: My mother-in-law wants to sing at my wedding
My wedding is 23 days away. I have been engaged for over a year, and I have meticulously planned every detail myself. My goal is to stay away from any and all things cheesy - honestly, that sh*t makes me uncomfortable. I was not raised in a family of criers or huggers. My fiancé however, was. The other day, my fiancé's mom let it slip to a friend of mine that she was planning to sing something "emotional" at the wedding without telling us, and is hoping for tears from me. She's determined to "crack" me. I'm horrified. She is aware that we have requested no surprise speeches and no surprise singing, and we made this request because I anticipated this exact situation. My fiancé did not, and has no idea his mom plans to sing.
My question is, do I have to let this happen? Can I somehow ask her not to sing? Or is this the first of many times I will have to put aside my own discomfort for the good of my future marriage? If so... do I need to fake tears?!
Dear God T, I’m suffering such advanced stage of mortification for you, but sh-t, if this does go down I really want a f-cking invite. I know, I know, you need me to be supportive, but come on, this is SO funny.
Okay, I’ll stop being a jackhole because I understand this is stressing you out. So I’ll spew the same advice I've said time and time again: mother-in-law issues need to be dealt with by the man. Seriously, it’s your best line of defence and most importantly it keeps you out of the momz dramz.
Look, it’s up to your fiancée how he wants to break it to her, but in this case the softer, the better. I mean, it’s not like she wants to take a piss on your wedding cake. In her mind, she’s trying to do something special for the two of you - it's actually quite sweet. Who knows? It could be a really lovely moment in your wedding that you'll cherish forever. Or it will just be that hilarious time your mother-in-law sang at your wedding. Either way, amazing.
So T, I say suck it up, smile, go with the flow and take a note from the "wickedly talented" Adele Nazeem and let it go. Let. It. Go.