Sasha Answers: My pervert housemate
Dear Sasha, Last week my married housemate came into the kitchen while I was eating something and started a casual conversation. We had only interacted briefly before due to my work schedule. He started off normal but quickly became inappropriate and flirtatious, and became quite explicit. I got very uncomfortable and tried to make an excuse to leave, but he stopped me and then asked if he could kiss me. I said no, and he did it anyway, holding me down. Throughout this entire time I kept saying variations of "no, stop, etc." I count this as sexual assault, even though he didn't get violent. My only question is - do I tell his wife? I hesitate to because A. She probably won't believe me, or think that I was the one who seduced him. and/or B. Their culture is conservative - plus she's pregnant - and I don't really think divorce is something in the cards for her. Would telling her just make her miserable? I'd really appreciate some advice here. L
Before we go any further, please tell me that you’ve packed your bags and moved the f-ck out??!?!?!? If you haven’t, you need to immediately. Got it? Good.
Okay, as for telling his wife….
Under any other circumstance, I would tell you to hang that f-cker out to dry on the double, but because of the way this all went down, and how aggressive he was with you, I think you need to be careful.
My main concern is for you to get the hell out of dodge. Once you’re in the clear and have found a safe place to live, *then* you can figure out if you want to say anything or not. That also goes for what you want to do legally when it comes to the physical assault that took place. The law is on your side so reporting him is an absolute option - don’t be quick to brush the seriousness of this situation off.
Now getting back to the wife and what you should do. The only thing I’m not clear on is the relationship between you and this guy’s wife. Are you tight or not so much? That’s kind of the deciding factor for me because if you are close(ish) to her then I do think you owe it to her to let her know that she’s with a ginormous creep. What she does with that information is entirely up to her – don’t get involved in that. On the flipside though, if you aren’t close, then sh-t, I would wipe your hands clear of this mess and never look back.
Thanks for writing in and keep me in the loop. If any of you out there have got some LIFE + STYLE questions of your own send them to me at email@example.com