Sasha Answers: My pregnant BFF still smokes

July 9, 2012 18:22:09 Posted at July 9, 2012 18:22:09
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, My best friend is 10 weeks pregnant.  She was a heavy drinker and smoker, stopped drinking when she found out she was pregnant, but she's still smoking.  She's cut down to "a few per day" from a pack a day, but this is really bothering me.  She's never smoked in front of me, I think because she knows my feelings and she's embarrassed.  I've asked her if she's going to quit and she says yes but she's known she's pregnant for over a month now and hasn't quit.  I asked her at dinner last night if she's still smoking and she said "a few" and her husband said "A few per day??!!"  He obviously didn't know.  He told her she has to quit and she was clearly annoyed and said "I know."  The thing is, he's also a heavy smoker of cigarettes and other things, so I don't see him forcing her to stop. Do I say something to her about the possible harm to her baby? Thanks. S

Okay I won’t waste any time here the answer is simple:  YES!!!!!!!!!!

I know there are a lot of women out there who have probably hacked their fair share of butts and are screaming at me that their child is perfect and healthy and amazing.   If that’s your story, great, I’m happy for you.  But I’m sorry, I can’t defend pregnant women smoking.  It’s selfish not to mention potentially damaging to the baby.  Why anyone would ever risk that is insane to me. 

So S, you have to sit her down and have a heart to heart.  Express your concerns and remind her of all the damage she is doing to her child.  Look, I know how hard it is to quit smoking, but f-ck me, she needs to figure it out.  Get the patch, have some acupuncture, read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking - bottom line is she needs come up with a plan to stop.  Of course, let her know that you’ll be there to help her and support her through it.

Yes, it sucks that you’re the one who has to pony up and have this conversation, but sometimes that’s what best friends have to do.  Let me know how it goes! xx    

(Lainey: I googled “pregnant celebrities smoking” and Brooke Mueller came up. That might be a deterrent for your friend?)

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