Sasha Answers: My roommate is dirty
I needed a roommate to help cut some costs of med school, but the one I found is just a nightmare. A classmate introduced us cause she was also new in town and looking for a place, but even though she’s really good at paying rent on time (even in advance sometimes), I’m just not sure we’re a good match.
She always lets her dishes stack in the sink, she uses my stuff without asking (I honestly don’t mind that she uses my stuff, but I really hate that she doesn’t ask beforehand), she never gives me my messages when she answers the phone (don’t know why she just doesn’t let it go to voicemail), she smokes inside, when I specifically told her I can’t stand it, the bathroom sink is always full of her hair in the morning and worst of all, she leaves her unwashed underwear in the bathroom.
We don’t hang out together that much cause I’m on campus most of the time, and she seems like a sweet girl, but you have no idea how irritating it is to come home to find the apartment in a very sh-tty state. L
If we’re sharing shitty roommate stories…
Mine was dirty as f-ck, clepto’d all my sh-t, and was literally one crack pipe away from being a junkie. After months of her insanity I finally reached my breaking point when one day I walked in to the apartment and found her sitting on my bed, using my hair straighter, wearing a pair of my shoes, naked. I bounced out of that place the next week.
“Home”, whether it’s a single bed in a dorm room or a 5000 square foot mansion, should always be a place of safety, serenity, and peace. Now, it’s not very clear to me whether you’ve had a serious conversation with her about this, so if you haven’t, well, that’s the first logical step. While cleanliness is the cardinal roommate rule, this chick obviously didn’t get the memo so I’d call a house meeting and give her a refresher. Let her know that while you want her to feel comfortable in her own home, her mess is making YOU uncomfortable. You don’t have to be a fascist about it just let her know calmly and politely that she needs to start regularly cleaning up after herself.
If nothing changes after that then honestly, I’d give her the boot and start looking for a new roommate. Sometimes finding the right person to live with is a case of trial and error – it’s a hassle and it’s never perfect, but eventually you’ll find a good fit.
Thanks for writing in and keep your life and style questions coming at me at firstname.lastname@example.org