Sasha Answers: My sister’s blister
While in college, my sister partied, did drugs and had unprotected sex. While it's normal for people to go a little crazy in college, I believe she definitely acted out of control in those days. As a result, she now has an incurable STD and cold sores on her mouth. No one knows except me. The problem is that she doesn't think twice about taking a family member's spoon and taking a bite of something or sharing drinks. I've read that cold sores are super contagious, spread easily, and 90% of people have them. However, I do not have them and neither do my parents. When I politely try to tell her that I don't want to share something she gets angry and calls me a witch. Do I talk to her?
I think the first thing that needs to be tackled here is the underlying judgement you have towards your sister. You know, the whole “she’s dirty" thing, because if I can pick up on it by reading a few sentences, then I’m sure as f-ck that she senses it all the time.
Just because your sister got her swerve on back in the day doesn’t mean that a) she was a bad person or b) deserves to have her past held over her head for the rest of her life. So D, drop the slut-shaming because that’s what you’re doing, and straight up, it ain’t cool. And if you drop the ‘tude then solving this issue will be a whole lot easier for you.
Look, I get it, you don’t want to get cold sores. It’s not something I'd expect you to be super stoked on, but keep in mind, it's quite possible you already have that sucker in your system - it just hasn’t reared its head yet. So yes D, it’s a virus that's contagious and I totally agree that when she does have an outbreak then she 100% shouldn’t be swapping spit on things. That’s just common respect.
That said, you do need some work on your delivery.
I think the first thing that needs to come out of your mouth is: Sorry. 'Fess up and admit that you’ve been a judgy cow and that you apologize for it. Yes, really, you need to do that. Next, you can plow in on your main concern by letting her know that you love her to bits, but you need her to be sensitive and cognizant of the things she might pass around when she has a blister. Again, don’t cringe your face up or look icked-out – she isn’t a gross person for having a blister, so don’t treat her like one.
Finally, if you’re a really good sister you’ll brag to her about this amazing awesome site that you read called Laineygossip where this equally amazing, awesome person suggested a cold sore treatment that totally fucking wipes out cold sores -- REFRESHER HERE. Thanks for writing in and keep me posted xx