Sasha Answers: My soul mate doesn’t want to be my soul mate

May 28, 2013 18:38:29 Posted at May 28, 2013 18:38:29
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hey Sasha, So, I met this guy a month ago and I had never believed in soul mates until I met him. We could talk for hours together, have an excessive amount of things in common, and are super super attracted to each other. Things were looking bright.

Then, one day out if the blue he tells me he can't do it anymore. We meet up and I talk him off the ledge. His reason was that all of a sudden he had a voice in his head that said that this might not work out in the end and that his "one" was out there. But after we were together he was relieved that I talked him out of it and that he really was happy to be with me.

Then he did it again.

I don't get it. My gut is very very good and I know he likes me a ton, and we have the best time together. He's just making such a bad decision and every part of me knows it's wrong. That we could be spectacular together. He said he's confused because he is crazy about the time we spend together but he has this voice that appears.

I never believed in soul mates until I met him. What do I do?


I’m all for putting in the effort and trying to make things work but BOTH people have to be down for the cause and T, you’ve got a serious wet noodle on your team. There’s a difference between “fight” and “beg” and guess which one you’re doing right now?

Listen, relationships are hard and making them last is even harder, but what should be easy is that initial connection and chemistry. If that foundation isn’t strong enough then you’re hooped from the get-go. T, I know you really like him, I know you feel the spark, but if you have to convince someone of that, well, I’m not quite sure it’s actually there.

But fine, let’s say you do finally persuade him to stick it out, how could you ever trust him? Wouldn’t you always think that at any moment he’d be looking for the door? Even if you don’t acknowledge that now, I can tell you with certainty that that will be a built-in weakness in the relationship. 

T, I’m not denying that you guys get along really well and sh-t, you could be right about this whole soul mate thing, but it’s obviously not the right time, right now. Maybe you have to let him go so that he can truly realize how great you are. At this point in the relationship, whatever is going on in his head and heart is not enough for him, BUT it should be enough for you to know that it’s time to bow out.  

Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming my way at

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