Sasha Answers: Please help me move on

February 29, 2012 14:54:39 Posted at February 29, 2012 14:54:39
Sasha Posted by Sasha

I have been single for six months, and it's been a struggle to say the least. My ex D, broke up with me two weeks after we went on our first vacation together. We had an amazing time, so the breakup shocked my system. A little back story, I was with another ex for 6 years prior to D .. I was hurt, but D came into my life, and changed it completely. As lame as it sounds, he saved me. I have been struggling with anorexia for the majority of my life, but just recently came to terms with it. One of the reasons things ended with us was because of this. At the time, he had said that we could be together when I was healthy.

Last month at my birthday, he showed up at my house (Every once and awhile, he'd call me and want to hook up, but he would never show up.) So, we got down with the get down, and the moral hangover kicked in almost immediately. He made a few comments about my frame and how I got too skinny. And mentioned he was dating a girl (he said WAS but meant IS ,I found out afterward) that he was head over heels in love with . Needless to say, broke my heart even more.

I have tried the rebound thing, and the party girl thing and nothing is working for me to get over him. I even moved apartments to have a fresh start and found out last week he moved a block away from me ... Fml . I keep holding on, and I cannot let go. Anytime I start to feel normal, I
get dragged back. Any advice on how to move on? S.

Break ups are the sh-ts.  We’ve all been there. You feel like you’re suffocating in your own loneliness and that if you were to just die, right there in your stank-ass pjs surrounded by empty McDonalds wrappers that you’ve also doubled as Kleenex, hey, you’re okay with that because you’re too un-loveable for anyone to give a sh-t. Does this sound about right?  

Is this totally dramatic? Yes.  But S, it’s totally necessary. Know that the way you’re feeling is 100% normal and only with TIME - I know that’s so annoying to hear – will things get easier.    

Now something that always helps speed up the process is when you realize that the dude you were with was a f-cking waste of time. And S, your ex fits into this category perfectly. Holy sh-t did he ever dick you around.  Not only did he use your eating disorder as an exit strategy, but he used it again after he wooed you into having sex with him. GROSS. And gawd, the fact that he had a girlfriend is double gross. This makes my blood boil and I hope it makes yours too. This guy didn’t deserve you back then and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve your tears now.  So S I hope you come to realize this now because once you realize he was a crappy boyfriend things will be easier.  
Now of course the most important thing to me is that you’re taking care of your health and seeking treatment for your anorexia. If you are not, let me know so I can do some research in your town to get you the help that you need. Keep me posted! xx  

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