Sasha Answers: Should I be with my best friend?
Dear Sasha, My best friend and I are respectively 26 and 24. He’s been my best friend for 13 years, and he told me he’s in love with me a few days ago. I don’t know how to react.
My ex and I broke up seven months ago. It took me some time to get over him, and I’m still not sure I’m quite there yet. We were together for five years and he was my first serious relationship.
My best friend is my everything. He literally saved my life twice. He’s always there for me. He was the first and last voice I heard every day for at least the first two months after my break up. We talk for hours. I completely trust him and we have the exact same sense of humor. Whenever anything good or bad happens to me, he’s the person I want to tell. When I need to laugh, he’s the person I joke around with. When I need advice, he’s the person I run to. He’s very attractive, that’s not the problem, but to be honest, I’m not sure I’m really over my ex yet and I’m scared to date him, screw everything up and lose my best friend in the process. I think I want to be with him too, but I feel like he deserve much more than I can give him.
He told me I didn’t have to give him an answer right away and could take as much time as I needed, but in the meantime, things are getting awkward between us. We’ve mostly only texted since he told me. I don’t know what to tell him.
I’m really cautious about messing friendships up because having a true guy friend in your life is not only the best thing ever, but it’s rare as f-ck. For that reason, I never suggest crossing that line, but sh-t, L, I’ve gotta say, my butch heart melted a bit after reading your letter.
I know you’re worried about the friendship, but honestly, it’s kind of hooped now anyway. The second he decided to put it out there was the second your “platonic” friendship went ka-put. No matter what you decide on this, things have now officially changed, and you will probably never have what you did.
So, I’m not saying hit that sh-t hot and heavy, but why not let your mind go there, take it really slow and see if you guys work outside the friendship zone. I mean, the dude sounds pretty goddamn perfect and it seems sort of stupid to pass it up. Listen, as long as you’re honest with him about your feelings, then the way I see it, you can’t be wrong or make a mistake. So test the waters and see what happens.
Thanks for writing and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming my way to firstname.lastname@example.org