Sasha Answers: Stop being a jealous dick to your friend
Hi Sasha, BFF and I have an extremely close friendship (even as BFF-ships go) and we always have. In the 10+ years of our friendship, we've also both been generally single, mostly by choice. I am still very happily single. My BFF has just gotten into a serious relationship, however, and I'm freaking out. I'm really happy for her too, but I hate that I'm freaking out, because why can't I just be happy for her? It's no secret that when one friend gets into a relationship, things change. It's a part of life, and I've never minded with other friends of mine, but I don't want our friendship to change. I already feel it happening, because she's turned into the giddy, can-talk-of-nothing-else, newly-in-love girl we roll our eyes at (yes, we're jerks). I rolled my eyes at that girl even when I was in relationships, and I don't know how to get on board with this new side of my friend. I feel like I'm going to lose her and the special bond we have is going to evaporate... How do I get this out of my head?!?
You wanna know how to get this out of your head? You do it by telling yourself to stop being a jealous dick.
Look, had you told me she was flaunting this new relationship in your face or ditching your ass for this new guy all the time, well, I’d have your back for being bugged by it, but if all that’s happening here is that your best friend is just super happy…..well, you need to get a f-cking grip.
This has way less to do with her than it does with you. If we’re talking about life changes here then this is the perfect time for you to start making one. L, you’ve got to dig deep and figure out what it is about YOU and what’s happening in YOUR life that you can’t conjure up some true joy and support for your best friend.
I know you’re scared that the friendship is going to change, and you know what? It might. But that doesn’t mean it will change for the worse just because she’s found a boyfriend, but I'll tell you what will: if you keep being insecure, if you keep side-eyeing her ass, and if you keep being a jealous and unsupportive friend.
Keep all your questions coming to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.