Sasha Answers: The job and my boyfriend
Hi Sasha, There is this great company that I really want to work for. There were two positions available and one was perfect for me and one was perfect for my boyfriend. By the time we decided to submit applications, the one I wanted was taken. So I helped my bf with his resume and cover letter and we submitted his application. He got a telephone interview and it has been a month with no call back. I talked to someone who works at the company and she said the position is still available. She didn't know anything more than that it was still open. The more I think about the position, the more I want it. If I could choose I would want my boyfriend to have that job, but if for some reason they did not want to hire him, I would want it for myself. I would be so sad if they gave the job to some other person and I missed out because I do not want to compete with my boyfriend. I talked to my bf about how I'm feeling and he says I should apply for the position. I'm torn though because I do not want to hurt his pride or have him feel like I am not supporting him. I know he would not say those things to me so he might keep it bottled up. In all honesty he is the better candidate. I would be surprised if they chose me over him but hiring is not an exact science. Complicating the issue is that he is pretty unhappy at his current job and while I'm not completely happy at mine, I'm not unhappy. I could stick it out a while longer until something better comes along. I even think this great company I'm chasing will eventually be hiring again because they are growing. should I apply?
The answer is: Yes. You absolutely should apply.
There is actually really nothing complicated about this; what will complicate things, however, is if you start pretending there are complications.
Listen L, it’s not like you went head to head with him right off the bat; instead he not only got first stab at this position, but you supported him 100% through it all. The bottom line in all of this is that you’re rooting for him and only want the best for him. Right? Right. And I would assume that he feels and wants the exact same for you too. Right? Right.
So, if you’ve given him the heads up, and he’s nothing but encouraging (which by the way, should be his reaction anyway) then go for it. Seriously, so stop reading this and start applying.
May the best (wo)man win.