Sasha Answers: He has a small problem

October 31, 2011 17:31:39 Posted at October 31, 2011 17:31:39
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, So I will just jump into things here to avoid a really drawn out story.  About 2 months ago I joined an online dating site in order to get back in the game.  It was one of those ones that matches you rather then you searching out people so it is no surprise that when I met A, we really hit it off.  So I have been dating A for about 2-3 weeks now.  We have a super good time, it’s really comfortable, we laugh and have fun, he has a magical tongue…  All in all, I really like him and can totally see this becoming serious.  There is just one small problem… well one small problem and one pretty major problem.  A) I think he might be kinda lacking in the penis department and B) I say “I think” because both times we tried to have sex, it just wouldn’t stand at attention so I actually have no idea how big it is.  I feel like a total f-cking ass hole ‘cause I really, really like him, but this is a serious deal breaker for me and I really don’t know what to do.  Do I wait?  I wanna say yes because we have such a great connection and I do really like him, but then on the flip side, I don’t want to get attached and then have this suck even more then it does right now or worse, have him become attached and then hurt him.  He said that this has happened before and that it gets better – whatever that means – and it’s not like there isn’t other amazing things that he pulls out in the sac, see above, re: magical tongue.  But sex is super important to me and I know that I need a partner that can give me what I need.  And then to top it all off there are his friends, which totally shouldn’t be a factor I know, but they are all so nice and you can just tell that they love him so much, I feel like I will be letting them down if this doesn’t work.  I met them last week and we all really hit it off, they are very similar to him, and well me also cause A and I are like the same person, and so it kinda makes sense that I would like them as well.  Obviously, if this doesn’t work out I wouldn’t expect to be friends with them… but they added me to FB (I am aware at how lame that just sounded btw J) and have invited me to things that I have accepted the invitations for and I don’t wanna be the bitch that broke it off with their friend, WHO IS AWESOME, because he has a potential mini and a saluting problem.  I am soooooo stumped.  HELP!  E

Stumped!  HA!  Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.   Gawd, can you imagine if he knew we were talking about his pinky sized dick.  I would die of embarrassment if some guy was talking about how small my rack is.  Sh-t, I don’t even want think about how many times that may have happened…  

Anyway E, I get your concern.  Of course it’s totally important to be with someone who is compatible with you in the sex department, but I have to say I feel like you’re ready to write this dude off a little too quickly.  To be honest, I actually think you’re even being a bit unfair.  

I mean, maybe he was nervous, maybe it takes him a while to get into the groove with a new person, or maybe, (and it is possible) you might be the one that needs to switch a few things up in the sack.  Just saying…

Either way if I were you I’d chill the hell out and give it another go – try it out for a while because it can absolutely get better with some time and effort.  And seriously, while you’re waiting it out, reap the benefits of all of these other fine talents you speak of.   Listen, chances are he just needs some time to get warmed up.  But trust me, if he starts feeling your judgy impatient vibe it’ll only make things worse, so peel back on this sex snob thing.  It will only end up boning you. (Wink)

Now when it comes to his friends, why in the F are you worrying so much?  I mean, if you end up breaking things off with him, all that’s going to happen is they’ll stop liking you.  No biggie, it’s not like you’re still required to show up at, or that they’ll even want you at all these Facebook functions.  You know?  

E, if I can be honest here, I think you might be trying to sabotage a bit.  I don’t know why, but to me it sounds like you’re a bit scared of commitment. It’s worth taking a think about that…

It sounds like things are so new right now and if this guy is as amazing as you say, then why don’t you just enjoy the ride and let things unfold the way they’re supposed to.   It’s really a whole lot easier than over analyzing every little thing.       

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