Sasha Answers: Victim of The Office Meangirl
Help! I am being meangirled at work by a horrible person. Things were cool when I started here. A was super nice to me and we lunched and hanged out all the time. She is very close to my boss, so the three of us would hang out. I thought it was great! But, things started to go down hill...i started to notice that they were spending a lot of time in his office - gossiping about other coworkers...or they would both sneak out for lunch, leaving me behind... I didn't mind at first because I was getting a little tired about talking about other people. but, i started to get upset about it when the hours they spent gossiping in the office infringed on my work time with my boss.
Sh-t really hit the fan, when I mistakenly put my two cents in on a conversation that was happening between A and another co-worker... she immediately went and told my boss that I was annoying her and we had a disagreement! I took it upon myself to apologize to her and she said everything was ok. But, it hasn't been since... she gives me the cold shoulder every day. She will talk to everyone but me, she doesn't say hi or bye, I hear her talking about me to other co-workers when she is on the phone or even in front of me.
I have talked to my boss about it and he's not having any of it... he thinks i'm in the wrong and i need to deal with the fact she doesn't like me. I don't know what to do anymore... she has pegged every person against me and making them believe that i have emotional problems.. I have seen first hand her doing this to another coworker whom she is trying to get fired. I have no one to talk to here at work, not even my boss... every issue i have told him, he has gone back and told her, making my situation worse. I don't want to quit my job...but, i can see that its starting to take a toll on my well-being. Help!
Dylan and I were trying to think of a new way to describe roaring annoying asshole people in our lives and we came up with: cow c-nt. I don’t know if it’s the alliteration that makes it so effective or that it just makes us laugh so we temporarily forget about the person who’s bugging us….either way, it’s awesome. (Lainey - I had to listen to them on the ride home on Friday experimenting with the various permutations of this new terms. Like, they actually started throwing around the word “udder”. ) And T, today it’s making its debut because your boss and co-worker are the definition of cow c-nts.
I’m not going to lie, what’s happening at your work sounds horrible. These two just seem like petty assholes who have nothing better to do than stir up some drama. And you have to be careful because that level of crazy is like quick sand, as soon as you take a step in, you’re a goner. So T, you need to remove yourself from this situation. There’s no point in fighting it or trying to reason with it – it won’t help your cause one bit. These people have made up their minds about who they think you are and will do whatever they can to bring your ass down; to play into it only makes it worse. So do not subscribe to that kind of nonsense. If they want to go whispering behind your back, if they want to talk smack, if they want to make sh-t up…let them.
Now if I were you I’d go looking for a new job - there’s no way I’d want to be in an environment of soul suckers. But if what you’re telling me is you want to keep your job then you need to detach. Go in there every morning. Do what you need to do, do it well, and then get the f-ck out. Keep it professional, polite and keep it moving. It’s as simple as that, because once they have no material to play with… game over.