Sasha Answers: why do I still want him?
Dear Sasha I know what you’re going to tell me but I think I need to hear it straight. I’ve been dating this guy for three years – we finally broke up a year ago after I found out he cheated on me on numerous occasions with numerous women. I was devastated. And even though I know he’s horrible for me I still can’t help but miss him. I miss the sex, the love, the closeness of another person, laughing together, doing everything together. How do I stop being in love with him? D
If it makes you feel any better there are a lot of people who are struggling with the same feelings you are right now; I have a stack of letters sitting in my inbox from women in the exact same situation.
Honestly, reading this kind of stuff makes me sad. It makes me sad that there’s a hole inside of you that has become a receptor for sh-tty men, and that somehow you believe that being the punctuation in someone’s life is better than being the whole story.
As you and I both know D, this all comes down to your self-worth –so I suggest that instead of trying to find out how to stop loving him that you try and find out why you’ve stopped loving yourself.
Look, I’m not saying it’s easy to get over someone when you've invested real feelings, and I’m not saying I expect you to heal overnight; but shit woman, you’ve gotta figure out a way to f-cking respect yourself because until you do, it's pretty much guaranteed that you’ll continue to find yourself in a string of unfulfilling, damaging relationships.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – demand more for yourself. To get you started, click here.