His bro hates me

September 26, 2011 21:21:44 Posted at September 26, 2011 21:21:44
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Sasha, I've been in a relationship with the love of my life for going on 2 1/2 years now. He's everything I could ever want. We both know we're headed down to hop on the marriage pony, we've talked about it, we're both on the same page, it's pretty much just a matter of time. I couldn't be more happy about this, but there's one hitch before we get... hitched...

His brother hates me. I don't mean he hasn't really warmed up to me, he literally hates my guts and everything about me. He's pretty much hated me from the start. (A little background...) I met my boyfriend (we'll call him A) through a very good friend of mine, while I was currently dating someone else. This friend was dating A's brother and they all lived together, that’s how we met. I started to really like him after about a month and was told by my friend that he liked me as well, mind you I was with someone else. Short of shorts, I tried to fight it for about 2 or 3 months, until I realized that my current relationship was going nowhere, and I really felt a huge connection with A. I broke up with my then boyfriend and A and I got together shortly after and have been together ever since. Unfortunately, A's brother had a huge problem with this. He continually told my friend and A that I would probably end up doing the same thing to him... which never happened of course; we have been 100% faithful with each other.

It's over 2 years later now... and anytime we hang out with A's brother, there is ALWAYS tension/attitude/hostility towards me coming from A's brother. There have been straight up fights between A and his brother over me; over how A feels about me, how our relationship is so offensive to A's bro, how he thinks I'm completely wrong for A etc etc etc. Even though he hates me, I respect him, he's just one of those people that you can't help but to. But I have my breaking point.

I'm honestly at my wits end. I know you can't force a person into liking you, or even tolerating you. I could really care less if he hates me, however I DO care that it's stressing my man out. There have been one or two times where A's bro and I have a called "a truce" for the sake of A, but it never seems to last, no matter what I do. I really hope you can help me out with this... I don't want it to cause a rift between A and I. S.

What the f-ck is up with this brother? Gawd, he sounds like a major dickhead. I’m not going to lie, S, this is definitely not a good situation. And I feel for you because if I were in your position I’d be stressed too.

As for what you should do, I know it licks to be the grown-up, but for the sake of your man and your relationship I think you need to give the truce one more go. I know, I know. Look, I don’t know how you’ve broached this topic in the past with his bro, but I really think you need to lay it all out on the line this time. Don’t puss around and play nice – sit his ass down and lay down the goddamn law. Tell him that he can think whatever he wants about you, but the one thing he can NEVER say and the one thing you NEVER want to hear again is that you don’t love A. See, S, that’s the kicker, once you’re clear with that little fact, he’s left with nothing to fight you on. And if what you say is true, that you’re not this sketchy biatch he thinks you are, then he has no ground to stand on. He can’t continue to fight someone that’s confessing their undying love. You know?

Now, if he continues to be a roaring asshole even after this last attempt, then you know what? It’s time to pass the buck over to A. Sorry, but it’s his family, and that means it’s his dysfunction to take on. He needs to stand up for you and tell his brother to get a grip.

S, at a certain point you’re just going to have to let go and check out of this mess. And I think that time is now. You can only do so much and if A’s brother’s doesn’t get that being an opinionated prick only does him an injustice, then that’s his f-cking fault, no one else’s.

I hope this helps and keep me posted! xx

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