Scarjo looks hot but needs to sit DOWN

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2013 14:01:30 June 10, 2013 14:01:30

Scarlett Johansson presented at the Tony Awards last night. She looked great. Love the cut of this tuxedo jacket. Love the lip colour so much. It’s a scary lip colour to try. I tried it a few months ago -- even darker than this -- and was put off initially because the lips were drawn exactly on the lip line. The key though, I think, is to slightly overdraw the line, the way she’s done here, to give the colour some more real estate. Otherwise, with such a dark colour on such a small amount of space, it can look too sinister. Worse still, it will age you. Making the lip fuller makes all the difference. And somehow, the darkness of it gives your face some good angles. Try it.

Scarjo, as you know, is on my Five List. Because she’s so f-cking hot. That’s what the Five List is for. The Five List is just for f-cking. It is not for talking. Because if I had to talk to her, I might dry up. Especially when she whinges about her nickname and runs around suing people like an asshole.

You hear about this?

Gregoire Delacourt wrote a book called La premiere chose qu’on regarde, The First Thing We Look At. Here’s the cover:

The book is a bestseller in France. It is not yet available in English. Delacourt tells the story of a mechanic who encounters a woman at his shoppe who looks like Scarlett Johansson. Sixty pages later, her identity is revealed to be Jeanine Foucaprez. And ...that’s it. Scarjo however is suing for “breach and fraudulent use of personal rights” and seeks to “ban future transfer of rights and adaptations of the book”.

F-ck off.

Yes, I’m sure some lawyer -- and maybe a few of you -- will find some argument about how she was infringed upon. But you’d have to be an idiot to read the novel and actually believe it’s actually about Scarlett Johansson. You’d have to be an idiot to read the novel and not simply just picture the main character as a beautiful, blonde babe with a bomb ass body, THE END.

Sit DOWN, Scarlett Johansson. And chill out. Where’s your grace? And where are the people who are paid to tell you when you’re acting like a dickhead? Because even if her attorneys can find some black and white legal play to throw down, at some point you have to weigh that against perception. The perception is that she’s a humourless twat. Not sexy.

Click here to read more about Scarjo’s litigiousness.

Wenn, Andrew H. Walker/ Larry Busacca/ Getty

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