September 19, 2014 – Smutty Shout-Outs

September 19, 2014 13:16:09 Posted at September 19, 2014 13:16:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Thelonius/ Splash

For Rachel from Laney – Congratulations, Lizzy is here!

Liz & Matt! Happy Wedding Day with love from Shirley! You’re supposed to be reading this when you get your hair and makeup done. Avoid tendrils! And send me some photos!

Happy 40th Birthday Karen! Eleanor wanted me to toast you with James McAvoy. Here are some shots from last week that I didn’t post, like they were being saved, just for you!

Adrienne - Happy birthday to my favourite mommy fashion blogger extraordinaire!  Hope you have a fabulous day! xoMackenzie”

To Michellene from your sister Keescha – Happy Belated Birthday! And just one more month to go! Keescha wanted me to post Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy and the worst belly-cupping photo ever. This one belongs in the hall of fame:

“To our tall, blonde, beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby Hope on her birthday:

We hope your birthday weekend is full of relaxing time with the hubby, buckets of wine, yummy vegan food (better make that veggie for the collapsed vegan), cuddles from Demon Spawn-bahaha, and lots of time for reading and running. Did I mention the wine?

You are our resident Virgo overlord, the one Virgo who rules us all! You like what you like, you keep us organized, and you stick to your guns, never wavering from your distaste for Capaldi, Russell, and punchy Paul and Adam.

Here are just a few of our favourite memories of last year:

You wisely escaped the clutches of our cruel, cold Canadian summer to finally unite with your Sister-Wives in Arizona, where you found the sun and got to meet your spirit animal Minnie!

You leveraged a tiny piece of info about Matt Smith into a cheeky exchange over a gift of shaving foam (he called you a smartass! Omg!) and, his manager-be-damned, the best pic with him in his hipster glasses giving the peace sign just for you!

You prepped and planned for TIFF so well, the only thing that could take you down was the ticketing system with the rage stroke inducing sidebar, and friends of friends hugging you! (Sorry, not sorry.) Luckily, the blessings of the Batch were with us again this year, and though you were 20 ft from Benedict, you weren't the crazed fan who made headlines around the world. Well done!

You joke about the framed pictures of Benedict, Amy and pie in your heart-shaped cavern, but you are the first to offer advice in tricky situations, or lend an ear and support to a friend going through a hard time. You are always there for us when we need you, even if it's just for a live blog or commentary on a Buzzfeed quiz result. Your help with stealth bitchery in a carefully worded email, and your offer to carry the shovel are dearly appreciated too.

We want you to get everything your heart desires next year, whether it is to launch your telethon for the poor downtrodden blondes of the world, or to write for Sophisticated Lady magazine. We wish you many hours of happiness spent in the unicorn mansion in your mind palace as you figure out your goals, and we can't wait to see you achieve them!

There was a dedicated posse of people picking these pics for was very important...for science (bitch). Here is a plethora of photos of your future second husband ( sorry Lainey!) , your bendy young thing , Idris, throwback Chris, and Dave with our beloved Amy, patron saint of Virgos everywhere.

We love you Hugsy! Happy birthday, xoxoxo your friends in gossip.”

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