September 2, 2014 – Smutty Shout-Outs

September 2, 2014 12:04:48 Posted at September 2, 2014 12:04:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

“September brings all kinds of good things - celeb sightings at TIFF, delicious pumpkin spice lattes, and most importantly, the birthday of our glamorous, perfect, badass spider monkey Angelica!

It's a very special person who would inspire her friends to mobilize for her, even if it does result in a weird polyamorous lesbian proposal in Chapters. You are a woman who views "no flash photography" signs at museum exhibits as a challenge, not an edict (hey, at least we didn't steal Labyrinth props!), a woman who will never hesitate to spice up our lives by regaling us with stories about how you got a concussion, or got a message from your close personal friend Trent Reznor, a woman who will drop anything to help a friend secure a false eyelash or find the perfect shade of lipstick at the Mothership.

That kind of fearlessness, humour, and relentless thoughtfulness is why, regardless of how rocky these last two years were, none of the people in your life are worried about where you'll end up. It's impossible that it won't involve greatness!

For all of this, and because as Rust Cohle taught us, time is a flat circle, here are your eternal loves Thor (sorry no pics of his hammer), Spice Girls, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and your new loves, ass-piration Iggy and newly minted Freebie-Fiver Cary Fukunaga. Happy birthday darling girl, we love you very much! Your friends in gossip and fellow fur parents. Xxx”

Katya! Happy 29th Birthday from your best friend Claire!

And for Jackson F who is always brave, who thinks of everyone else first – you are a hero to your family, an ordinary hero. I’ve always liked the acoustic version of this song better than the original.

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