20 at Oscar: Shailene Woodley
I'm caught between empathy and irritation with Shailene Woodley. I'm not used to feeling these two things together so maybe if I explore the more benign one, the other will be slightly less annoying.
I love vintage dresses. I have several that are, to me and my wardrobe, like, my clothing thesis. Please feel free to roll your eyes, I just did. I would wear vintage almost exclusively if I could. Reasons I can't are: they're hard to find in good condition, in your size, and in the style you want in the moment.
I remember once finding a vintage dress with Lainey and our friend Michelle when we were in London. It fit like magic. It's still my favourite dress. So I understand what Shailene was going through. Sister does not like to look like anyone else (see also: toe shoes) and I completely understand that. But the vintage Valentino dress she had on last night (hmm, who's she trying to emulate who once wore vintage Valentino to the show?) didn't do for her what it was supposed to.
The waist was too big, and the bust was not exactly too small, but that heavy fabric weighed heavy on her chest, making her look unsupported. It was a touch too old for her, but if it had fit properly or maybe done with different, less up-do hair, I'd feel less bad for her. Seriously, no complaining here. Vintage is hard. Ask me about the time my dress disintegrated.
But I certainly wouldn't tell Shailene that.Do you get the impression you can't tell her anything? Like at 20 she knows everything about everything? Here's my favourite exchange from last night.
"So how old are you?"
"20, right. So are you in school, or...?"
"No." Full stop.
Like, what kind of a dumb question is that, to ask me if I'm in school? Clearly I am an actress.I'm wearing vintage Valentino, remember?
After awhile she went back and gave lip service to wanting to go eventually but there's something about this girl, that she just thinks she knows it ALL. Right now. Nothing else to take in. For Lainey, it was talking about how Alexander Payne understands humanity and empathy and whatnot. For me, it's the slightly know-it-all air she has that's somehow different from the irritated to be there air that is Rooney Mara. Like she's always been walking the red carpet at the Oscars, like she and her Secret Life costars do it all the time.
Maybe she will. Maybe she'll be back next year and the year after that. The carpet could use more vintage. Good for her. Sure. Let's go with that.
(Lainey: how quickly an award season can f-ck up sh-t up. Click here to see.)
Thank you to all of you who pointed out that this gown isn't vintage but was sent down the runway at Valentino Spring 2012. But many outlets reported it as vintage. The plot thickens. Did we all get it wrong? Did she say it was vintage when it wasn't? Or is it vintage-inspired - a revival piece from an earlier collection and she misunderstood? Was there a press release that turned out to be wrong? Here's what I know - today's industry-wide lack of sleep won't make this clearer, but I am now on a mission to find out.
Kevork Djansezian/Frazer Harrison/Michael Buckner/Getty