Jennifer Aniston: Banged but not Dumped

March 7, 2008 09:46:00 Posted at March 7, 2008 09:46:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sheryl Crow inexplicably decided to shoot her mouth off recently about her friendship with Jennifer Aniston, insisting that neither of them were the “dumpees” in their respective high profile relationships:

“For both of us, the perceived idea is that, in our big relationships, we both got dumped. Believe me, this is not true. Neither one of us has ever gotten dumped. No one ever knows what goes on in relationships.

Unfortunately, for some people like Jennifer and me, so much is written about things that you don’t say, and so many emotions are attributed to you that you haven’t had.”

As you would expect, Sheryl’s remarks resulted in more attention paid to someone else – Aniston – rather than herself. Which is dumb. Why give an interview if only to redirection attention?

And why throw a pity party if no pity was required?

Why allow that slag Leslei Bennetts to portray her as a teary-eyed victim, whipping the MiniVan Majority into a solidarity frenzy against the most beautiful woman in the world? If her friend Sheryl is now playing the “I’m a strong woman, burn my bra” card on her behalf, why didn’t she do it herself when the triangle first formed? Why scream at the ocean for Vanity Fair? Why permit her friends to paint the picture of a wounded faun, fragile but forgiving, brave but bruised? Why not just pull out the bra from the very beginning – the relationship wasn’t right for me. So I decided to leave.

Why?

Because Jennifer Aniston is a fraud. We know this. We also know that these days it’s a new Jen she’s selling. A better Jen. A Jen I could consider buying. Jen the healthy. Jen the hopefully blow-free. Jen the strong single looking for love but not begging for love.

Jen with bangs!

Jen has the best hair ever. Seen here on set with Owen Wilson in Miami. Part Heather Locklear, part Linda Evans… and on Jennifer Aniston, it works. Any hair works.

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