Smutty Book Roundup – July 17, 2015

July 17, 2015 20:17:43 Posted at July 17, 2015 20:17:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Grey, the book.

You read it? Click here if you missed Maria’s review.

I’ve stopped at 20%. Which means it’s worse than Fifty Shades Of Grey because at least with that one, I actually made it through the whole thing. You could argue that for Fifty Shades Of Grey, EL James knew what would appeal to *some* women, writing in a woman’s voice for a female audience. When writing a man’s voice for a female audience however, she has no f-cking idea.

I read a lot of horny books. A lot of good horny books written by a woman for a female audience in a man’s voice. The reason why horny books in a man’s voice work is because most straight women want to know what’s inside a man’s head when he’s in love…and making love (an expression that gives me the gags but I couldn’t help myself in that sentence). That’s part of the turn-on. Do real straight men actually think to themselves while they’re eating you out that your pussy tastes amazing? Probably not a lot of them. But if you do it right, and some of these authors do it very, very well, you’re willing to buy  the fantasy. And shove your hand down your pants. EL James doesn’t know how to do that. EL James wasn’t able to do that in Grey. So why is it that she was (arguably) able to connect on that level (for *some* women) in a woman’s voice but not in a man’s? My theory on this is that when she was writing in a woman’s voice, she was essentially using her own voice. In that sense, for *some*, it was relatable. When you’re writing from the male perspective however, you have to get outside your own head. The scope can’t be that narrow. That, I think, is her problem – in so many ways.

If you’re interested in a horny read written from both the female and male point of view, once again, I suggest Dirty Rowdy Thing by Christina Lauren. I would totally f-ck Finn.


Have you read Harper Lee’s Go Set A Watchman yet? It came out last week. Duana and I have been angst-ing about it for months and finally on Sunday she was like, after I’d been telling her repeatedly that I’m too scared, are you going to NOT read it though? I have a flight this afternoon and I’m thinking of starting on the plane, with a really dirty horny book as a backup just in case things get intense – both in the story and over the mountains. Judy Blume’s In The Unlikely Event doesn’t exactly help with that kind of anxiety either.

The situation just feels kinda… sketchy, doesn’t it? Click here to read last week’s Bloomberg article about how the book came to be published.

So, basically, what I’m asking is that we all hold hands and go into this together. For serious. If I start it today will you start it today? Or should I not start it at all? TELL ME. TELL ME PLEASE.


Jesse Eisenberg was at Comic-Con for Batman vs Superman. Here's how he described the experience: 

"It is like being screamed at by thousands of people. I don't know what the experience is throughout history, probably some kind of genocide. I can't think of anything that's equivalent."



So yesterday, Jesse was interviewed by the AP and asked about his comments. And this is how he explained it:

"I of course was using hyperbole to describe the sensory overload I experienced. I sometimes do employ that. I'm a normal person who has normal sensory experiences, so Comic-Con was very overwhelming for me. That said, it was really an honor to be on that end of such jubilation. That people are excited about it in that way is unheard of and thrilling. I've been on the receiving end of movies that no one loves and no one anticipates. That's worse, even though it's a much quieter press tour."


“I of course was using hyperbole.” Like even when he’s backtracking he’s so f-cking condescending. Here’s a guy who compared the experience of being adored by fans to the experience of being mass murdered and then rationalised it by patronising those who might be offended by the comparison.

But that’s what Jesse Eisenberg does. He talks down to you.

Will you accept that it was “hyperbole”? Do you accept that Jesse Eisenberg poorly chose his words? He’s a writer. I’m actually reading his new book, Bream Gives Me Hiccups. Jesse Eisenberg knows his words. He knows exactly what his words mean and how they will land. And that’s the point here. He INTENDS for them to land. And if they land in a place that you find objectionable?

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