Smutty Surgery Articles

Celebrity plastic surgery, liposuction, and other cosmetic procedures.

Granny says she’s kinky

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 4, 2009 07:00:46 November 4, 2009 07:00:46

For reals. Tight ass Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman claims she’s sexually adventurous and naturally curious and has experienced it all – from the pedestrian to the most mundane and back again. Because she’s such a free spirit. That’s the story she’s selling in British GQ. She also used her own wax figure to pose on the cover of the magazine Must have been a bloat day. Full Story

No Botox for the eyeballs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 22, 2009 07:26:35 October 22, 2009 07:26:35

If it were possible, I wonder if Granny Freeze would take care of that too. Then she’d never be caught by cameras looking like this. Which is less than perfect. And less than perfect isn’t good enough. Only completely immobilised and creaseless is good enough. But let’s not fault Gran for seeming tired. Full Story

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Meg Ryan or Nicole Kidman?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 20, 2009 14:20:10 October 20, 2009 14:20:10

Laura just sent me an email: Did you see the new Meg Ryan trailer? The one where she duct tapes her man to a toilet? Unfortunately you don’t really notice the plot because you’re too busy staring at her mangled face. So of course I had to look for it. And no, Laura wasn’t wrong. It’s the preview for Serious Moonlight. Full Story

SO cute and then there’s SnapFace

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 20, 2009 07:07:00 October 20, 2009 07:07:00

Is it the first? The first time they’ve posed together? I think so, yes? Emily Blunt and John Krasinski last night at the Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute sponsored by Elle. How f-cking cute? SnapFace thinks he’s cute too. They worked together on Leatherheads, she was all over him like so happy to see you, friend, and hopefully he told his friend to eat something soon. Full Story

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Who’s younger?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2009 07:19:20 October 14, 2009 07:19:20

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher showed up at the 2009 Freedom Awards last night in LA. Like, what the f-ck Demi? It’s not fair for the rest of us. See now I’ve been up close to this. I’ve looked at it in person. In person it’s not scary, it’s not grotesque, it’s not unnatural… It’s ridiculous, yes, but also pretty real. Full Story

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Granny and her hairpiece

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2009 06:45:42 October 8, 2009 06:45:42

Granny Freeze is the official spokesperson for Omega. So here’s Nicole Kidman at the Omega event last night in New York, a striking figure in black, with an Omega appropriate Stepford hairpiece attached to the back of her head. Amazingly enough, Gran’s third lip appears to have tucked itself back under (mostly) her other lips. Full Story

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Madonna & Letterman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 1, 2009 07:54:36 October 1, 2009 07:54:36

Have great chemistry. It’s a sexy tension, it crackles, not uncomfortably, and the result is compelling television, even if her face is a little scary now. Because more and more, up close especially and without the sunglasses, she’s starting not to look like herself…right? Anyway, during the interview they discuss the breakdown of her marriage and leaving England and Madge says she’d rather be “hit by a train” than marry again. Full Story

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More like Faye Dunaway

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 16, 2009 07:59:45 September 16, 2009 07:59:45

My BFF Alan W wrote the other day that he thought Madonna looked good at the VMAs. That her face had fallen some, more relaxed, less taut. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t look like Faye Dunaway. Truth: when I first saw photos of Faye Dunaway at the VMAs I thought she was Madonna. Full Story

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Weight Loss Tits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 14, 2009 14:46:44 September 14, 2009 14:46:44

Need to suppress your appetite? This will help. Someone sent me a photo yesterday of Tori Spelling and her f-cked up tits at fashion week in New York. I quickly pushed away my plate of fries. Fake tits, too skinny resulting in too much extra skin, and a face that a golddigging piece of sh-t called “the most beautiful in the world”. Full Story