Smutty Surgery Articles

Celebrity plastic surgery, liposuction, and other cosmetic procedures.

Worst Emmy Ruffles: Teri Hatcher

September 22, 2008 06:29:23 Posted at September 22, 2008 06:29:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The good news is… her face doesn’t look so terrifying. Amazing how some people put other people into perspective, right? Constant shots of Madonna and Granny Freeze have numbed us all, no pun intended. The bad news… she’s shopping at the mall. You know those ladies’ stores at the mall? They have names like After Six. Full Story

The Posh Nose: Old or new?

September 15, 2008 07:14:03 Posted at September 15, 2008 07:14:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As I mentioned often over the last few months, Victoria Beckham kept a surprisingly low profile this summer, often unseen for weeks at a time. Some gossips are now suggesting that the reason behind her uncharacteristic absence from the spotlight had nothing to do with family obligations and working on her own line, but everything to do with recovery from rhinoplasty. Full Story

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Her Michael Phelps

August 21, 2008 07:26:34 Posted at August 21, 2008 07:26:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Have been riding the Demi Ashton love train for a while now. Demi and Ashton make sense. Right and perfect. Even more so now since silly schoolgirl Michael Phelps daydreams rule my life. Only problem – few of us infant-coveting cougars have Demi’s genes. Yes, yes, and money and her surgeon too. Full Story

Granny Freeze in Vogue

June 17, 2008 13:13:48 Posted at June 17, 2008 13:13:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gran on the cover and the in the pages of Vogue, shot before she started showing, not that she’s showing much now. You’ll recall, she announced her pregnancy 30 seconds after Keith Urban fertilised her botoxed eggs. A brave move for someone who’s suffered so many miscarriages. But as they say in the article, Nicole Kidman is fearless. Full Story

Ghetto Goes Out

June 17, 2008 07:11:40 Posted at June 17, 2008 07:11:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The worst boob job in Hollywood went out last night to some private party. Not sure how Tara Reid finagled her way onto the guest list but some things never change. It’s not the worst she’s ever looked but the girl is still as skank ass as ever. Funny thing is… her legs are not unlike Victoria Beckhams. Full Story

Monday, June 2, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Well… I didn’t hate it. But I didn’t love it either. Did you see it? Were you out with Carrie and the girls this weekend? Chances are you were. I went with my Main Gay Darren. We loved her studded belt. And the chemistry between the girls. We giggled at the way Charlotte said: but we’re in Mexico. Jason Lewis is f&cking hot. But the amount of makeup Chris Noth was wearing frightened us. I replied to emails on my blackberry three times because it was too bloody long. And either give the mute Chinese baby something to say or do or don’t include her bloody in the scene!

By the way - where the hell was the 5th lady New York City?

Would love to hear your thoughts. Please do share.

As for Darren and I… we must be two old bitches. Because we were more excited about the Mamma Mia trailer than the actual movie. Can’t wait!

Darren and I are also the annoying assholes sitting in front of you who won’t shut up. But only during the previews. Especially during the previews for Baz Lurhmann’s Australia, starring Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman.

Have you had the pleasure? If no, click here.

We played the funnest game ever: Does Her Face Move?

After nearly 45 seconds, during which Granny Nic appeared on screen every other shot, we remarked with delight that it remained frozen. Not even a muscle twitch. But at one point Darren made a momentous discovery. He leaned over and observed wryly:

She blinked.

Of course I lost my sh*t. And more sh*t went missing when Darren followed up by noting that Hugh Jackman was “down-acting” to deflect her handicap, as in intentionally muffling his talent so as to make up for the fact that hers has been immobilised by Botox.

Seriously, you must have a look. It will make your life. And Hugh Jackman really is a dreamboat.

MTV Movie Awards went down Sunday night. Many photos to follow. But it all boils down to this: Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp Forever.

Also the guest list from the GMD’s house party. Oprah and the Scientologists and all turned up. The GMD has powerful friends.  It’s Monday – am in Toronto for a two day blast on assignment for eTalk at the CTV Upfronts. Will be blogging all day between shoots. Check back often.

Yours in gossip,


Gary’s Back and Demi Not Sweet

June 2, 2008 04:52:20 Posted at June 2, 2008 04:52:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ugh. Ashton Kutcher’s facial hair. Those of you who’ve been reading a long time know… I call him Gary when he does this. As in Gary from Team America: World Police. When they tried to make Gary look like a terrorist by gluing beard batches haphazardly on his face. Ashton’s attempts at older manliness are equally as ridiculous. Full Story

Granny Freeze Conspiracy Theories

May 28, 2008 12:20:00 Posted at May 28, 2008 12:20:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She might be Australia’s princess but not all Aussies are enamoured with Granny Freeze. Turns out the smutmongering is in overdrive Down Under about Nicole Kidman’s curious bump and her crazy botox. The speculation is delicious. Here are my two favourites: 1. Gran’s sister, the very fertile Antonia, is apparently keeping a very low profile. Full Story

Granny’s Bump Grows Again

May 20, 2008 05:57:23 Posted at May 20, 2008 05:57:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She is as obvious as Ebola on a photo opp. Can you imagine? An Oscar winner having to stoop down to Paris Hilton’s level? This is now Nicole Kidman’s reality. Gran showed up with a noticeably bigger bump at the Country Music Awards the other night holding on to her belly in nearly every. Full Story

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Sponsored Smut: Garnier Giveaway - Don"t Be Granny

May 15, 2008 03:11:19 Posted at May 15, 2008 03:11:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Take a look at this cartoon. Do you want to be this cartoon??? Yes, we all want to stay young forever. And I will do what it takes to look 30 forever. But I"m also lazy AND chicken. So hell, I"ll scrub my face with blue algae that stinks of dog plaque if it means no needles and no doctors. Fortunately for the squeamish though, there are advancements in beauty products that are making it possible. Full Story

Asian Eyes?

April 29, 2008 11:31:00 Posted at April 29, 2008 11:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Check out Catherine Zeta-Jones shooting in New York today on location for The Rebound. Call me Cruise but her eyes look like they’ve had an Asian lift. Matter of a fact, her face looks remarkably fresh – almost 10 years younger. Beautiful. Is she simply well rested… or did she get a referral from Madonna and Demi Moore? Photos from Full Story