Squawking Chicken Articles

Posts featuring my Mother the Squawking Chicken.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Dear Gossips,

On the Chinese calendar, today is the Start of Spring. Which means that, technically, the Year of the Horse is over and the Year of the Goat/Sheep has begun. Chinese New Year is on February 19. But the astrological year actually kicks off today.  Read Full Intro

An Alamuddin wedding

September 17, 2014 19:29:05 Posted at September 17, 2014 19:29:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Andrew Goodman/ Getty Images

I feel like I know more about this wedding than the Kanye West wedding. That said, you know who would agree with making the wedding as big of a f-cking deal as possible and broadcasting it far and wide? My ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken. It’s a celebration. You don’t hide a celebration in a corner. Full Story

The only Jackie Chan

August 13, 2014 14:04:01 Posted at August 13, 2014 14:04:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

Jackie Chan was in London yesterday promoting his film Chinese Zodiac. Look at him. I have been looking at him, watching him, since I was probably 2 years old. I’m 40 now. HE’S EXACTLY THE SAME. Ginseng > Botox. Maybe some snake blood too. He only takes one day off a year. Full Story

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Friday, August 8, 2014

Dear Gossips,

It’s the luckiest day of the year on the Chinese calendar: August 8. 8-8. So what are you doing? Are you going to a wedding? Naturally, I’m having dinner with my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken.  Read Full Intro

Emma & Andrew’s New York finale

April 25, 2014 17:53:01 Posted at April 25, 2014 17:53:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

Here are Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield at the big New York premiere of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 last night, likely the last major carpet they’ll walk together in support of this movie, and maybe this franchise? I haven’t seen it. But, you know, you know what they say about Gwen Stacy. Full Story

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Detach

July 24, 2013 16:48:53 Posted at July 24, 2013 16:48:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Kevin Winter/ Handout/ Getty

Now that I'm moving to Toronto, I'll be able to take my ma to the movies. The process of taking the Chinese Squawking Chicken to the movies is, I imagine, kinda like taking a child to the movies in that your selection has to be very particular. For kids, no violence, no profanity, etc. For the Squawking Chicken, we avoid the talky ones, because she doesn't understand the language and also because she hates when people are long-winded, which rules out dramas. Full Story

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Tiger’s good luck charm

May 21, 2013 19:00:20 Posted at May 21, 2013 19:00:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

My ma always says -- some people bring you good luck, and other people will suck away all your luck. Chinese astrology has a lot to do with it. Every sign has its opposing sign. I, for example, am an ox. It would be terrible if I had married someone born under the sheep sign. If you have to, if that’s who you happen to fall in love with, then the wedding date becomes critical. Full Story

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Dear Gossips,

Duana showed me a video a couple of years ago. It’s the only time I’ve ever related to John Mayer, regardless of whether or not it was staged. Mayer’s on the phone, trying to walk his father through a computer issue.  Read Full Intro

Scarjo’s rough patch

December 13, 2011 21:00:16 Posted at December 13, 2011 21:00:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Johns PKI/Splash

My ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, as you know if you’ve been reading my blog long enough, is all about feng shui and energy and protecting yourself against the bad sh-t. One time we looked at house on the market that turned out to be “dirty”, and for weeks afterwards, that spirit would not leave me. Full Story

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Awesome

August 18, 2011 14:00:43 Posted at August 18, 2011 14:00:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Let this be awesome. I feel like it could be SO awesome. And I am so exciting* for it I might have to punch myself in the face. Here are Annette Bening and Kristen Wiig on the set of Imogene. Described as a “dark comedy”, Imogene features Kristen’s character as a writer who pretends to kill herself because she wants her boyfriend to get back together with her. Full Story

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