Sweetheart and the Spittle

February 2, 2010 08:01:44 Posted at February 2, 2010 08:01:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This week’s Star Magazine takes fantasy to a new level. The cover, of course, is an Angelina Jolie exclusive. This time she’s supposedly working on Johnny Depp, driving a wedge between him and V Paradis, and openly pursuing him because she is your husband’s hot ass bad ass vixen of a secretary. What?

The second feature is Reese Witherspoon’s rebound romance.

With GERARD Butler.

Please God, if only it were true. It’s not, obviously, considering the source, but can you imagine?

Upon hearing of Star’s latest f-ckery, Duana hilariously just wrote:

I mean, is Gerard Butler just on standby for when you need to appear not frigid?


Hee.

And TOTALLY.

How did Spittle become the validation of a single sweetheart’s libido? Gross. Like I said, I will NEVER understand the Butler quiver. He’s vile. And he’s a pig. And Reese has an ice ass. Which is why the mere suggestion of two together is absurd. She’d use the wrong fork before she’d step to that sh-t.

If you’re looking for fiction, Star Magazine hits newsstands tomorrow.

This is Reese out and about yesterday in LA.


Photos from: Flynetonline.com and Wenn.com

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