Little Sci comes out

September 6, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 6, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Hello Little Sci!!! She’s pretty cute, isn’t she? Cute enough to get people talking and the midweek hi-jack is well underway. Fresh off the Labour Day lull, Katie Couric started her new job off with a bang, airing exclusive photos from the Vanity Fair photoshoot, depicting the Family Cruise in various states of bliss, with your requisite shot of Katie nuzzling nauseatingly up on her fiancé – an image they insist on throwing at us each and every time we see them. I have to tell you though…all those superlatives we heard leading up to the unveiling of Little Sci - from Leah Remini waxing on her beauty to Jada Pinkett Smith waxing also on her beauty – say what you will about the coordinated descriptive game plan…it IS true. The child is absolutely adorable. Gorgeous, actually. But then again…perhaps I’m biased? Is it just me or do you see a subtle trace of my people in her features? Hello Kitty, mixed with Katie, and a little bit ‘o Josh Hartnett thrown in for good measure? (touché Monika!) Do you see the same… or am I just a gossipmongering cynical bitch??? According to Us Weekly, the inside interview details are just as interesting as Little Sci’s precious little face. For instance…did you know that the GMD’s first date with Katie was on April 18th, exactly one year before Suri made her – ahem- worldwide debut? And that the lobotomised Katie is actually allowed to swear? When asked about the gossip surrounding her cloak and dagger relationship and the controversy surrounding their arranged love affair, she replied “It’s really frustrating the amount of s—t that’s out there.” Oh really, Katie? How so? Scepticism isn’t borne of nothing. Scepticism is rooted from a seed, oftentimes a flaming seed, a seed that erupts homo-erotically and needs to be doused – doused ineffectively by the contrived and quick and all too often public display of same sex affection spanning all ends of the globe, from Rome to Los Angeles to Paris to Tahiti to Colorado and all the way back. As such, I feel confident in saying our scepticism is well founded. However, I also feel wary that his incessant effort to rebuild his empire is bearing fruit. Broken record, I know, but the comeback campaign is gaining momentum. Look already how many people lost their sh*t today over these photos. And also – what of the specific timing? On the heels of the reconciliation with Brooke Shields, which came on the heels of his new contract with Daniel Snyder, which came on the heels of his embarrassing dismissal from Paramount, which came on the heels of his decreasing popularity – now a family photo op, accessorised by a bouncing, aesthetically pleasing little girl…are you absolutely certain the door is closed on Tom Cruise? As I’ve been saying repeatedly for 2 weeks… I’m not so sure. Everyone is gushing, everyone still cares, the issue will probably sell out, and just to further drive the point home, the MiniVan Majority is beginning to mobilise in support of their embattled hero. Consider the following email I received today, in response to my post yesterday about the rather suspect timing of the Brooke Shields/Tom Cruise apology discussion on Jay Leno. From a reader called MG: Oh please will you get over yourself. So now they may have converted Brooke or something because that makes so much sense because she likes him and scientology so much??. What makes sense is that Tom is a grown up and he dealt with the situation face to face without cameras or fan fare. If he had wanted publicity for this he sure would have gotten it by leaking it when he went to visit Brooke oh so coincidentally. Respect is due. I swear to you on my mother’s transplanted kidney, I have not altered a word of what you just read. There is someone out there who actually uttered the following in regards to Tom Cruise: RESPECT IS DUE. Sit on that for a moment will you? And consider the implications: For all those who think it’s over for the Gay Midget Dwarf, for those of you who think it’s done – NEVER underestimate the power of the publicity machine and how it can hypnotise the amateur gossip, the People Magazine aficionados, those who can’t see beneath the spin. Hear it y’all: the MiniVan Majority is rising up. And it is up to US to resist the tide.
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