Talking to Jessica Simpson

May 19, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 19, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

But first… I have to tell you about Joe. It was my first time seeing Papa Joe – total sleazy business vibe but the first thing I noticed…this nearly killed me… was his tie.

For all the money he gets from pimping his girls, you’d think he could afford something more modern? Look at it! Nothing unsexier than a bad tie, non?

OK… so back to Jess.

It was a party on a yacht to announce her new movie Major Movie Star, to begin shooting on July 9th. Carpet is rolled out, press line is in place, photo wall is jammed… Joe arrives first, about 45 minutes before her. Her entourage gets dropped off in two black Mercedes (is there a plural form for Mercedes?). But this the best – quintessential Hollywood – Ken Paves jumps out and gets into the backseat, where she’s waiting for a final touch up before getting out. It’s often the EFFORT about showbiz that amuses me the most, you know?

So anyway, she gets out of the car, hair several shades lighter, explaining later on that it’s the first step in the process to get it back to very very blonde for the movie. Flashbulbs start popping everywhere – pretty amazing to see that sh-t in person, the way the cameras can light up a dark night over one Texas tartlet. Sigh.

Jessica was wearing vintage blue Herve Leger, Jimmy Choo on her feet, and Bulgari around her neck and I have to tell you…she looked great. Compared to the last time I saw her at the Costume Institute Gala in NYC two weeks ago, she looked So.Much.Better. And she’s thinner too. Boobs were remarkably unremarkable, arms more toned – she’s back on a crazy workout regimen and a strict diet in prep for shotting and it shows.

She also wasn’t orange. Nicely tanned, yes, but not hideously leathered. The makeup was subtle, the hair wasn’t offensive, and the tranny was, surprisingly enough, totally tucked away. I actually kind of missed it.

When she’s posing though – as you can see in these photos – she’s still a freak. I honestly had to avert my eyes. But when she was walking the line and actually speaking, I actually found her quite endearing. She was sincere, she was working hard for a change instead of lazily bailing out on her duties like she did with Dolly Parton, and she wasn’t cutting corners or lazy or unwilling. Clearly the team knows her credibility as an actor is on the line, and clearly she is committed to selling her picture, or at the very least she has been ordered to do so and is obliging convincingly.

From my vantage point, in every interview she seemed engaged. Made eye contact, showed personality, giggled a little, dropped a few y’alls and yahoos, smiled a lot…she was very nice. Last night she was actually likeable. And she admitted to me that it took way too long for her to get ready – as in hours – and that she was having a great time… in spite, of course, of the fact that she and John Mayer are over. Kind of. Supposedly it’s a split but no one seems convinced it will last, although gossips in New York are buzzing that his shame face finally beat out his libido and he ditched the ditz so he could find someone else to pee on.

Still, if she was hurting, she showed no signs of it. Jessica was in great spirits and I believed her. And if this is the new Jess without John? Me approve.

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