Tara Reid: Drunkorexic

July 3, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 3, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I can"t take credit for coining the term. That distinction belongs to dear divine Dean at eTalk with whom I was just discussing the phenomenon a few days ago. Alright girls and gays…don"t lie. I know you know what I"m talking about. It"s not right and it"s certainly NOT OK, but we"ve all done it at one time or another in our 20s so it"s pointless to deny and I won"t believe you if you do. Let"s say you have a wedding to go to. Or a party. And you MUST look fabulous. It"s next Friday, you have an ensemble planned out, you will squeeze into it, you will bust your ass on the treadmill every day until you can barely stand, you will look like a piece of heaven, and that dirty dirty bitch who cut her eye at you last time will slink back into the hole she came out of because she will realise she is no match for your superior hotness. In order to ensure success, you will graze on vegetables and hummus for an entire week, and on the day of anticipated event, you will put nothing in your mouth, unless of course you are close to passing out, at which point a small, 2 cm x 2 cm piece of cheese is more than enough to put the fainting spell at bay. So mission accomplished, you get to the par-tay, everyone loses their sh*t over your goddess-given gorgessity, you celebrate with a martini, and pretty soon that martini becomes 3 and all of sudden...where"s the hunger? There ain"t no hunger! You toast yourself all night long and when you wake up in the morning, your concave stomach fuels the Drunkorexia and you do it all over again on Saturday until Sunday comes around and you finally binge on eggs benedict and wash it down with popcorn in the afternoon followed by Taco Bell for dinner before heading back to work on Monday. Sound familiar? That, my friends, is Drunkorexia. Yes, yes. It is SOOOOO WRONG. It is awful and f*cked up and disgusting and I KNOW. But it is also an example of the awful and f&cked up and disgusting things women do to themselves for one night of glory before returning to sanity 24 hours later. And that is my point. Most of us return to sanity. Most of us go back to eating and slaving away at the gym from Monday to Friday, most of us are flawed and human but also practical and SMART. Drunkorexia for us is but a temporary lapse in judgment. Drunkorexia for Hollywood, however, is a long term diet plan. One that Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Mischa Barton and all the young starhos probably follow quite religiously. But the problem with the Drunkorexic weight loss formula is that while it works in fits and starts, it also has one alarming side effect: It ages you. And the best example of that is Tara Reid. Look at Tara Reid this weekend in Vegas. Once upon a time, not too long ago, Tara Reid was actually cute. Cute and fresh and very, very drunkorexic thin. See attached. And then Tara kept drinking and starving and torturing her body. To the point where she is a now a bloated, wrinkled mess, the poor childless version of Britney Spears - WAY past salvation, destined to fellate for food and lodging for the rest of her Hollywood days. The best example of why Drunkorexia never, ever pays. Will this be Lilo"s fate? Pray Goddess I hope not. And speaking of the firecrotch, here she is at the beach this weekend, looking much too haggard for someone who just turned 20. See? Drunkorexia ravages already. Photo Source
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