Tara Reid: ghetto tit regret

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 11, 2006 12:00:00 October 11, 2006 12:00:00
Can you believe Janice Min gave her a cover story??? Over ghetto tits??? Like, duh...though I suppose the most enlightening revelation is finally a detailed definition on what exactly constitutes Ghetto Tittage and how one arrives at owning a pair. In the article, Tara explains her decision, saying that one was always bigger than the other and because of constant weight loss and gain (binging and starving will do that), she decided to up her cups. Poor thing - if she had any friends, real ones, she"d understand that mammary mismatch is a natural phenomenon. Who DOESN"T have lopsided ladies anyway??? The difference however between most and Tara is that she decided to go about her fix with a D-list budget, destroying them forever in the process: “First of all, I asked for big Bs, and he did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didn’t want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s going to be better.’ But after six months of ‘it’s going to get better,’ it started to get worse and worse.” The consequence? Well, needless to say, the action quickly dried up. And for a girl with no professional potential, radio silence on the f-cking front was even worse than mutilating her body: "Guys I was dating would be like, ‘What’s wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.’ So embarrassing. I mean, you definitely need to turn off the lights, that’s for sure.” Still...gotta give credit where credit is due - Her Publicist. Landing the cover of Us Weekly is pretty impressive, considering Tori Spelling had to sell out her mother to do it and Joe Simpson has to pimp out his daughters for the same privilege. In light of such comparisons, I"d say flashing a set of ghetto tits and expressing regret is pretty admirable. Well done Tara. And she doesn"t look half bad either. Source

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