There is the Hoff who is unmatchable in Hoffness. And then there is Mariah. Because Mariah is the Hoff with tits. Mariah oozes Hoff. Mariah is Hoff jiggle and Hoff wiggle and shameless Hoff overdose. How can you not adore Mariah???
Check her out in NYC, fresh off the announcement that her gams have been insured for a billion dollars, outside her hotel WALKING HER DOG. In a tiny yellow dress, skyscraper heels, like it"s the most natural thing in the world, ever. This is what makes Mariah Mariah. And this is why I worship her. She never fails to bring a smile to my face. Just like the Hoff.