The Drew Debate
January 18, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at January 18, 2006 12:00:00
So my inbox was absolutely flooded with your complaints, protesting that Drew Barrymore should have been selected for Worst Breasts at the Globes instead of my original pick Alanis Morrissette First of all, I hear you. Drew sagged. And she sagged A LOT. But in my opinion, there"s "bad sag" and there"s "come hither sag". There"s ghetto bounce and there"s juicy bounce. I looked at Drew and like many of you, I was shocked at first. But then I was enticed. Those funbags made me want to come in hard for a nuzzle and then take a nap. Now what"s wrong with that??? It also helped that she was glorious in green and luscious to boot. I mean look at her. Look at how cute and delicious she is. Could she have used a bra? Of course. But was she really the worst tit crime of the night? Hardly, my friends. Hardly. That distinction, as previously mentioned, belongs to Alanis, whose unattractive jugs came encased in a burlap sack. If breasts could give off bad body odour, I"m pretty f*cking sure hers would. Do I want to rub my tired head against this? Hell to the N-O. Here. You do the side by side. Next to each other. And now tell me again - would you really say that Drew"s boobies are more offensive than Alanis??? I rest my case.