The Legend Of Ryan Gosling
A British journalist called Laurie Penny was crossing the street the wrong way yesterday and could have been hit by a cab but Ryan Gosling “rescued” her. Then she tweeted about it. The story made headlines everywhere. Click here for the full play by play (beyond him saying “Hey watch out”).
Between the breaking up of street fights and the memes and the imaginary sightings and the Superman appearances, I wonder if Bonnie Tyler is making a comeback.
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream
of what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Now that’s the only song that will be playing in my head anytime I see his face. It might also be why people keep, like, referring to him every time they make reference to “SEXY”. Jon Hamm recently deferred to Gosling in that department - click here to read the quote - but almost in the way a man would defer to, say, Fabio when wanting to distance himself from the bare-chested Harlequin imagery that undermines the more serious work. And that’s exactly the problem. Ryan Gosling’s work is serious and committed.
But the way we talk about him now...
He’s become a f-cking joke.
Ryan Gosling is the guy you see when you open your eyes, after whatever accident it is that he just saved you from, looking down at you with a mix of amusement and desire, as he lifts you onto his motorcycle before zooming away with you off to his cavernous rock dungeon where he builds a fire after chopping the wood and cooks a fish for you that he caught barehanded in the stream, without dismounting or slowing down on the ride over, before putting a hot towel to your bruised head while serenading you to sleep to the sweet sounds of his goddamn ukulele.
I hate that Ryan Gosling.
HE probably hates that Ryan Gosling.