The Walking Dead episode 13: On the road again
Here we are at the season finale, with chaos about to rain down on the farm. But first, we get to revisit zombie-infested Atlanta, and some zombies following that helicopter Rick saw back in the pilot. The zombies pass through the highway where the group broke down at the beginning of season 2, and now they’re descending on Hershel’s farm. The zombie horde: it’s all the helicopter’s fault.
Oh look, everyone is standing around, talking.
“Shane and Randall were in the woods together and Randall’s neck was broken but we have NO IDEA how that happened!” – says the group. Sometimes, these people are incredibly stupid.
RICK YOUR INSTINCTS ARE AWFUL.
He doesn’t notice the zombie horde until it’s practically on top of him. Rick and Carl are cut off from the house by the horde, so they hole up in the barn. This puts Daryl in charge of the house group. Good, let’s see what he can do as a leader because I’m thinking Rick probably shouldn’t be charge for a while.
“Once again I have totally lost track of my wayward offspring that is pathologically incapable of listening to anything he is told and once again, we must drop everything and look for him!” – says Horrible Lori. Just once, I’d like the group to turn to her and say, as one, “F*ck your dumb*ss not-listening offspring, this is a war and we have no time for babysitting!”
Rick and Carl set up in the hayloft and light zombies on fire. Not a bad plan, actually. Rick is showing late signs of improvement.
I’m glad that Maggie and Crazy Andrea are out helping kill zombies and trying to find Rick and Carl because all the other women are back at the house, yelling, “What do I do?” Well for one thing, LORI, you teach your child not to run off IN THE MIDDLE OF A G*DDAMN ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. And for another, you find a freaking weapon and start helping. This is really not that complicated.
That farm boy rescues Rick and Carl via Winnebago. (That Winnebago looking like the one in Spaceballs.) The farm boy gets devoured, artful blood-splattering and all.
Horrible Lori, Carol and the nameless farm women are fleeing the house while Hershel takes down zombies with an apparently endless supply of ammo. One of the nameless farm women is eaten alive. It’s super gross. Horrible Lori and T-Dog think they see Andrea attacked by a zombie, but she actually killed it. Still, they leave her and Carol behind.
Meanwhile, Maggie and Glenn are beset in their car. Glenn tells Maggie to just drive off the farm, leaving the others behind. She doesn’t want to, but what else can you do? They’re cut off, can’t communicate with anyone and panicking. Retreat and regroup is your best option.
Rick saves Hershel at the most artistic moment. Hershel doesn’t want to abandon his farm, but it’s finally been overrun by zombies. Rick also leaves Andrea and Carol behind (inadvertently). Daryl hears Carol screaming and saves her. Andrea appears to still be on the farm. Sucks to be her.
Except Rick will inevitably want to go back for her.
Sad, swelling music set to slow-mo shots of zombies staggering around the farm as the barn collapses. Whatever, that farm was a nightmare.
Maggie might be having a panic attack, but she noted which direction the horde came from. I hope she survives—she’s useful, and this show needs more useful women. Glenn talks Maggie down, confessing his love for her.
And we’re back to square one, at the site where the group originally got stranded on the highway. Literally, they’re back to where they left supplies for Sophia. And now Carl is questioning Rick’s leadership. Hershel wants Rick to take Carl to safety (where is that, precisely?) but Rick doesn’t want to split up. Rick’s got the right of this one—they don’t need to fracture any more than they already are.
T-Dog wants to go to the coast and Horrible Lori wants to go back to where they broke down, thinking Rick will go there (rightly so). Horrible Lori wins that battle of wills.
Hershel continues to try and get Rick to leave. Rick puts way too much emphasis on Hershel’s advice. But then, Daryl and Carol show up, followed by the rest. Except for, you know, Andrea. The survivors count their losses, and assume Andrea lost for dead. They decide to head east. T-Dog wins!
Here’s Andrea, running through the woods, chased by the horde. Luckily for her, she has the ammo bag. This part looks like a video game.
Rick runs out of gas and decides to camp out along the road and in morning they’ll look for gas. Rick’s main problem is that he still has this idea he can build a life somewhere. Sorry dude, you’re a nomad now. Glenn and Maggie challenge Rick’s decision, then Daryl brings up Randall and Stupid Shane, finally putting it together that Stupid Shane killed him.
Oh good, Rick is finally going to explain that whole spontaneous zombieism thing. OMG it’s Jenner’s big secret from the CDC! Remember when he whispered to Rick? This was it—that they’re all carrying the virus, even if they’re not actively infected. Of course, everyone is pissed at Rick for not telling them. Everyone thought he told Rick about Horrible Lori’s Horrible Mistake, but no. It was this.
Rick confesses to Horrible Lori about killing Stupid Shane. This show is just enough of a mess to overshadow that some of these actors are doing consistently excellent work. Once again, Andrew Lincoln delivers the sh*t out of a monologue, but it’s Sarah Wayne Callies’ look of horror when she hears that Carl was the one to put down Shane that wins the moment. She’s not always been the best but she is excellent in that moment.
Go with me on this: Horrible Lori is pregnant and also is carrying the zombie virus. Assuming she passes it on to the baby, what if the baby were to die in the womb? Would it turn into a zombie? A utero-zombie? These are the things I think about.
Back to Andrea fighting her way through the woods. She’s saved at the moment by a sword-wielding, zombie-toting, hooded person.
IT’S MOTHERF*CKING MICHONNE.
The group is nervy, not trusting Rick; Maggie wants to take her chances with Glenn. Rick is pretty scary, losing his sh*t in front of the group, and he comes clean about Stupid Shane. The group is all “JUDGY JUDGY JUDGY” and Rick’s like, “Whatever, he tried to kill me first.”
That one farm girl kind of looks like Luna Lovegood.
Rick throws down, inviting people to leave if they want, telling them if they stay, he’s done being democratic. About damn time, frankly. And of course, no one leaves. Because he might f*ck up a lot, but Rick is still the best chance they’ve got.
And our final shot of season 2 is…
THE MOTHERF*CKING PRISON.
Officer Rick: Losing his sh*t.
Horrible Lori: Horrible, useless. So, the same.
Daryl: Probably a better #2 than Rick deserves.
Zombie horde: Claimed the farm.
Michonne: IS HERE AT LAST.
Worst thing seen/heard this week: The whole episode is pretty much a zombie buffet, so…the whole episode.
Zombie kill of the week: Michonne beheading with a katana. DUH.