The Mythology of Katie Holmes

July 13, 2012 16:04:30 Posted at July 13, 2012 16:04:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet, J.B Nicholas/Splash

Katie Holmes took Suri and a friend (?) to gymnastics class yesterday in New York. You know what I love about these shots? Look at the first photo in the series. Had she not filed for divorce, this would be next week’s cover of Star Magazine with the caption:

Katie’s PREGNANT! Suri’s baby brother!

For two weeks I’ve been jerking off to Katie’s unexpected game. How she played Tom Cruise and Scientology’s ass. There has never been this much heat on the Church. Katie brought the heat. It’s the gossip equivalent of Scottie Pippen dunking on Patrick Ewing’s head, then standing on top of him afterwards waving his junk in his face...WHAT???

God I miss those NBA days...

Anyway, the Mythology of Katie Holmes continues to grow. Last week I anointed her The One, Skywalker, Neo, and Harry Potter. This week she’s being called...

A Feminist Hero.

According to this article:

What Tina Turner did for battered women by breaking away from Ike, Katie Holmes has done for spouses and children suffering from religious abuse and coercion. She fought bullying with bullying. She beat Tom Cruise. She beat Scientology. It’s not too much to call her a feminist hero.

Right now, when it comes to Katie Holmes, hyperboles have their own hyperboles...while Nicole Kidman stands off stage in the shadows,“But why not meeeeeeeee!!!????!!!”
 

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