Thinnification Articles

Celebrity weight loss, typically but not exclusively for the purpose of career advancement and not always due to health reasons.

Taupe’s little arms

December 4, 2009 11:52:38 Posted at December 4, 2009 11:52:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I remarked on what I perceived to be her Thinnification the other day – click here if you missed it – and last night Taupe Jennifer Garner stepped out at the Children’s Defence Fund in LA showing off her little arms. Or maybe it’s just me. Full Story

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The Thinnification of Taupe

November 30, 2009 15:11:15 Posted at November 30, 2009 15:11:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jennifer Garner seemed to be in no rush to starve herself following the birth of 2nd daughter Seraphina born last January. Was great. Lately though… This is Garner after getting her hair done yesterday. She looks gaunt, her jeans are falling off of her, her hips, they’re scaring me, and her head suddenly looks really, really big. Full Story

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Porny thinnifies again

November 20, 2009 16:02:32 Posted at November 20, 2009 16:02:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson has been working hard at the gym. She’s been tweeting about it too. They say she’s taken off 15 pounds with her trainer, will likely be Daisy Duke shaped again by the time she promotes her beauty reality show. Alanis would say: Don’t you think? Anyway, here’s Porny at Ken Paves' salon today after a touchup wearing those dumbass jeans. Full Story

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Skinny Shelfy says she’s studying

October 19, 2009 09:08:38 Posted at October 19, 2009 09:08:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Of course she was. Her publicist always comes up with an excuse. So Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake was in Vegas all last week for his golf tournament which culminated yesterday. Saturday night, as previously mentioned, he and his friends performed at Mandalay Bay to raise money for Shriners Hospitals for Children. Full Story

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Shelf Ass in Vancouver

September 24, 2009 09:36:03 Posted at September 24, 2009 09:36:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s here. Arrived yesterday to start work on A-Team in which she plays the secondary token babe in a male-dominated action movie. It’s because she’s so beautiful. Remember, her beauty is an impediment to the evolution of her talent. This is why she’s not being offered the kind of roles that ugly ass Natalie Portman receives. Full Story

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Re-thinnification of Ashlee Simpson

September 4, 2009 10:46:00 Posted at September 4, 2009 10:46:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s promoting Melrose Place. Is in New York making the talk show rounds. Photos are attached. Ashlee, as you know, had a baby last year with Pete Wentz. Since landing her new acting gig, she’s been dropping weight steadily. You’ll recall, she did so before allegedly under doctor supervision. Full Story

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Porny’s skinny jeans

June 5, 2009 07:13:27 Posted at June 5, 2009 07:13:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s like that episode of Sex & the City – Miranda rediscovers her skinny jeans. Most women are familiar: we have fat jeans and we have skinny jeans. Fat jeans for when we suck. Skinny jeans for when we don’t suck as much. Jessica Simpson, since that amazing performance at the country chilli cookoff a few months ago, has been keeping a relatively low profile, especially the last few weeks. Full Story

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Thinnification of Russell Crowe

March 30, 2009 12:29:20 Posted at March 30, 2009 12:29:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’s scheduled to start shooting that Robin Hood movie soon – still no confirmation as to his role. This is Russell Crowe sneaking out of the Empire Awards last night in London looking much leaner than he has in… well… years. Be honest. He’s been portly for a while. It’s amazing how they can drop weight so quickly when it’s time to get to work. Full Story

The Thinnification of Scarlett Johansson

March 26, 2009 07:04:55 Posted at March 26, 2009 07:04:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Et tu Scarje? Scarlett Johansson was in London the other night at a Moet & Chandon event. She’s their new spokesperson. As you can see, she’s still on with the dark hair and the red lips but now apparently there is a weight loss objective. Scarjo turned heads with her new “very slim” frame, and was overheard talking to Thandie Newton about a “rigid diet”. Full Story

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Oscar Thinnification: Victoria Beckham

February 23, 2009 10:41:08 Posted at February 23, 2009 10:41:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Posh! We get it! We’ll never ever question whether or not some yo yo crack whore dieter like Lindsay Lohan is thinner than you…never again. You keep it consistent. You maintain the Skinny. You relentlessly pursue the brink point of emaciation vs survival. You are the Boniest Queen of Them All. Full Story

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The GMD loves fast cars

February 16, 2009 08:05:01 Posted at February 16, 2009 08:05:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As reported last week, the GMD drove the pace car at the start of the Daytona 500 yesterday and Keith Urban performed during the pre-race festivities. Both wives however were missing. Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman did not appear to be in attendance and Katie Holmes spent the day at Disneyworld with Little Sci instead. Full Story

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