Tom Cruise: Hollywood Voldemort

November 15, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 15, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Not exactly something I want to gloat about but still…many people wrote him off prematurely after the Paramount dismissal. Unfortunately for us, just 2 months later, he’s not only on life support but his sequin-encrusted heart is beating loud and proud – thanks in no small measure to Katie Holmes who has truly shown her worth as the back pocket trump card that earned her the contract in the first place. Announced today, Tom has signed on to a prestigious new project called Lions for Lambs, directed by and co-starring Robert Redford AND Meryl Streep AND produced by United Artists…that’s right – the GMD’s new studio. The GMD is dead? Not even close. But do you love the timing of this sh-t? Three days before the big blessing, as the whole wait awaits the wedding, undoubtedly THE wedding of the year, and now the news that he could be primed for Oscar… Like the Dark Lord, a celebrity Voldemort if there ever was one, and Scientology his very own brand of the Dark Arts, with other Church members and the MiniVan Majority recruited as Death Eaters, Tom Cruise won’t go down unless the Pitts decide he goes down. And right now, they’re preoccupied with babies and Oscars. Can you imagine though? Brad and Angie as James and Lily Potter? Maddox is the future Harry? Hee. Sorry for the silly… And given the day’s disappointing news, thought I’d cheer you up with the old classic jerkoff…literally. Enjoy! Source
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