July 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 27, 2006 12:00:00
You know the drill… it"s Cruise time, which means I need to begin with a disclaimer just because the Tommy legal mission is hungry for Chinese ass these days. What you are about to read is gossip and rumour and conjecture and should not be interpreted as fact because Tom Cruise is not only almighty, he is also allstraight, and his Church is a beacon of light in our otherwise too-gay world. Praise Thetan, ah-Xenu. Now let"s to it... Per People Magazine, Jada Pinkett Smith has revealed that she has laid eyes on Little Sci, that she is a beautiful child, that she is healthy and happy and a total Daddy"s girl. But didn"t Us Weekly just report a couple of weeks ago that the Smiths hadn"t seen her? Damn. If I were Janice Min, I"d start kissing some serious scientological ass. That"s not an enemy you want to cross, you know what I mean? More importantly though, let"s examine this curious growing fondness between the GMD and the Fresh Prince Family. Because while it"s not unusual for megawatt stars to become megawatt friends, it is unusual for such a high profile friendship to ping my gaydar to the point of short circuit. And wouldn"t you know it - this is exactly what"s happening. So I"m sure it hasn"t escaped you that Jada, um, has gone through quite a ballgrowing transformation these days. I"m also sure you"ve heard the dish that"s been surrounding the Smith union for some time now. Supposedly it"s a beard/purse situation, one that"s only unspooling now that super success has been achieved and financial security is in place. Sound familiar? And given the increasing proximity between the Smiths and the Church"s unofficial spokesperson, is it possible that Will and Jada are undercover scientologists? Tom Cruise, John Travolta…Will Smith? Hmmmm...My smutty sense is tingling, gossips. Is yours???